The way of the Lake.
But once there — whether it would then be advisable so to do — or not — well who could tell.
He might even yet be able to convert Roberta to some other point of view.
For, say what you would, she was certainly acting very unfairly and captiously in all this.
She was, as he saw it in connection with his very vital dream of Sondra, making a mountain — an immense terror — out of a state that when all was said and done, was not so different from Esta’s.
And Esta had not compelled any one to marry her.
And how much better were the Aldens to his own parents — poor farmers as compared to poor preachers.
And why should he be so concerned as to what they would think when Esta had not troubled to think what her parents would feel?
In spite of all that Roberta had said about blame, was she so entirely lacking in blame herself?
To be sure, he had sought to entice or seduce her, as you will, but even so, could she be held entirely blameless?
Could she not have refused, if she was so positive at the time that she was so very moral?
But she had not.
And as to all this, all that he had done, had he not done all he could to help her out of it?
And he had so little money, too.
And was placed in such a difficult position.
She was just as much to blame as he was.
And yet now she was so determined to drive him this way. To insist on his marrying her, whereas if she would only go her own way — as she could with his help — she might still save both of them all this trouble.
But no, she would not, and he would not marry her and that was all there was to it.
She need not think that she could make him.
No, no, no!
At times, when in such moods, he felt that he could do anything — drown her easily enough, and she would only have herself to blame.
Then again his more cowering sense of what society would think and do, if it knew, what he himself would be compelled to think of himself afterwards, fairly well satisfied him that as much as he desired to stay, he was not the one to do anything at all and in consequence must flee.
And so it was that Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday following Roberta’s letter received on Monday, had passed.
And then, on Thursday night, following a most torturesome mental day on his and Roberta’s part for that matter, this is what he received:
Biltz, Wednesday, June 30th.
DEAR CLYDE:
This is to tell you that unless I hear from you either by telephone or letter before noon, Friday, I shall be in Lycurgus that same night, and the world will know how you have treated me.
I cannot and will not wait and suffer one more hour.
I regret to be compelled to take this step, but you have allowed all this time to go in silence really, and Saturday is the third, and without any plans of any kind.
My whole life is ruined and so will yours be in a measure, but I cannot feel that I am entirely to blame.
I have done all I possibly could to make this burden as easy for you as possible and I certainly regret all the misery it will cause my parents and friends and all whom you know and hold dear.
But I will not wait and suffer one hour more.
ROBERTA.
And with this in his hands, he was finally all but numbed by the fact that now decidedly he must act.
She was actually coming!
Unless he could soothe or restrain her in some manner she would be here to-morrow — the second.
And yet the second, or the third, or any time until after the Fourth, was no time to leave with her.
The holiday crowds would be too great. There would be too many people to see — to encounter.
There must be more secrecy.
He must have at least a little more time in which to get ready.
He must think now quickly and then act.
Great God!
Get ready.
Could he not telephone her and say that he had been sick or so worried on account of the necessary money or something that he could not write — and that besides his uncle had sent for him to come to Greenwood Lake over the Fourth.
His uncle!
His uncle!
No, that would not do.
He had used his name too much, what difference should it make to him or her now, whether he saw his uncle once more or not?
He was leaving once and for all, or so he had been telling her, on her account, was he not?
And so he had better say that he was going to his uncle, in order to give a reason why he was going away so that, possibly, he might be able to return in a year or so.