The truth was that in this crisis he was as interesting an illustration of the enormous handicaps imposed by ignorance, youth, poverty and fear as one could have found.
Technically he did not even know the meaning of the word “midwife,” or the nature of the services performed by her. (And there were three here in Lycurgus at this time in the foreign family section.) Again, he had been in Lycurgus so short a time, and apart from the young society men and Dillard whom he had cut, and the various department heads at the factory, he knew no one — an occasional barber, haberdasher, cigar dealer and the like, the majority of whom, as he saw them, were either too dull or too ignorant for his purpose.
One thing, however, which caused him to pause before ever he decided to look up a physician was the problem of who was to approach him and how.
To go himself was simply out of the question.
In the first place, he looked too much like Gilbert Griffiths, who was decidedly too well-known here and for whom he might be mistaken.
Next, it was unquestionable that, being as well-dressed as he was, the physician would want to charge him more, maybe, than he could afford and ask him all sorts of embarrassing questions, whereas if it could be arranged through some one else — the details explained before ever Roberta was sent — Why not Roberta herself!
Why not?
She looked so simple and innocent and unassuming and appealing at all times.
And in such a situation as this, as depressed and downcast as she was, well . . .
For after all, as he now casuistically argued with himself, it was she and not he who was facing the immediate problem which had to be solved.
And again, as it now came to him, would she not be able to get it done cheaper?
For looking as she did now, so distrait — If only he could get her to say that she had been deserted by some young man, whose name she would refuse to divulge, of course, well, what physician seeing a girl like her alone and in such a state — no one to look after her — would refuse her?
It might even be that he would help her out for nothing.
Who could tell? And that would leave him clear of it all.
And in consequence he now approached Roberta, intending to prepare her for the suggestion that, assuming that he could provide a physician and the nature of his position being what it was, she must speak for herself.
But before he had spoken she at once inquired of him as to what, if anything, more he had heard or done.
Wasn’t some other remedy sold somewhere?
And this giving him the opportunity he desired, he explained:
“Well, I’ve asked around and looked into most of the drug-stores and they tell me if this one won’t work that none will.
That leaves me sorta stumped now, unless you’re willing to go and see a doctor.
But the trouble with that is they’re hard to find — the ones who’ll do anything and keep their mouths shut.
I’ve talked with several fellows without saying who it’s for, of course, but it ain’t so easy to get one around here, because they are all too much afraid.
It’s against the law, you see.
But what I want to know now is, supposing I find a doctor who would do it, will you have the nerve to go and see him and tell him what the trouble is?
That’s what I want to know.”
She looked at him dazedly, not quite grasping that he was hinting that she was to go entirely alone, but rather assuming that of course he meant to go with her.
Then, her mind concentrating nervously upon the necessity of facing a doctor in his company, she first exclaimed:
“Oh, dear, isn’t it terrible to think of us having to go to a doctor in this way?
Then he’ll know all about us, won’t he?
And besides it’s dangerous, isn’t it, although I don’t suppose it could be much worse than those old pills.”
She went off into more intimate inquiries as to what was done and how, but Clyde could not enlighten her.
“Oh, don’t be getting nervous over that now,” he said.
“It isn’t anything that’s going to hurt you, I know.
Besides we’ll be lucky if we find some one to do it.
What I want to know is if I do find a doctor, will you be willing to go to him alone?”
She started as if struck, but unabashed now he went on,
“As things stand with me here, I can’t go with you, that’s sure.
I’m too well known around here, and besides I look too much like Gilbert and he’s known to everybody.
If I should be mistaken for him, or be taken for his cousin or relative, well, then the jig’s up.”
His eyes were not only an epitome of how wretched he would feel were he exposed to all Lycurgus for what he was, but also in them lurked a shadow of the shabby role he was attempting to play in connection with her — in hiding thus completely behind her necessity.
And yet so tortured was he by the fear of what was about to befall him in case he did not succeed in so doing, that he was now prepared, whatever Roberta might think or say, to stand his ground.
But Roberta, sensing only the fact that he was thinking of sending her alone, now exclaimed incredulously:
“Not alone, Clyde!
Oh, no, I couldn’t do that!
Oh, dear, no!
Why, I’d be frightened to death.
Oh, dear, no. Why, I’d be so frightened I wouldn’t know what to do.
Just think how I’d feel, trying to explain to him alone.
I just couldn’t do that.
Besides, how would I know what to say — how to begin?