No hand- clasps, no kisses, no friendly touches of any kind — not even an intimate word that a listening guard might not hear.
And when the fatal hour for any one had at last arrived, every prisoner — if sinister or simple, sensitive or of rugged texture — was actually if not intentionally compelled to hear if not witness the final preparations — the removal of the condemned man to one of the cells of the older death house, the final and perhaps weeping visit of a mother, son, daughter, father.
No thought in either the planning or the practice of all this of the unnecessary and unfair torture for those who were brought here, not to be promptly executed, by any means, but rather to be held until the higher courts should have passed upon the merits of their cases — an appeal.
At first, of course, Clyde sensed little if anything of all this.
In so far as his first day was concerned, he had but tasted the veriest spoonful of it all.
And to lighten or darken his burden his mother came at noon the very next day.
Not having been permitted to accompany him, she had waited over for a final conference with Belknap and Jephson, as well as to write in full her personal impressions in connection with her son’s departure — (Those nervously searing impressions!) And although anxious to find a room somewhere near the penitentiary, she hurried first to the office of the penitentiary immediately upon her arrival at Auburn and, after presenting an order from Justice Oberwaltzer as well as a solicitous letter from Belknap and Jephson urging the courtesy of a private interview with Clyde to begin with at least, she was permitted to see her son in a room entirely apart from the old death house.
For already the warden himself had been reading of her activities and sacrifices and was interested in seeing not only her but Clyde also.
But so shaken was she by Clyde’s so sudden and amazingly changed appearance here that she could scarcely speak upon his entrance, even in recognition of him, so blanched and gray were his cheeks and so shadowy and strained his eyes.
His head clipped that way!
This uniform!
And in this dreadful place of iron gates and locks and long passages with uniformed guards at every turn!
For a moment she winced and trembled, quite faint under the strain, although previous to this she had entered many a jail and larger prison — in Kansas City, Chicago, Denver — and delivered tracts and exhortations and proffered her services in connection with anything she might do.
But this — this!
Her own son!
Her broad, strong bosom began to heave.
She looked, and then turned her heavy, broad back to hide her face for the nonce.
Her lips and chin quivered.
She began to fumble in the small bag she carried for her handkerchief at the same time that she was muttering to herself:
“My God — why hast Thou forsaken me?”
But even as she did so there came the thought — no, no, he must not see her so.
What a way was this to do — and by her tears weaken him.
And yet despite her great strength she could not now cease at once but cried on.
And Clyde seeing this, and despite his previous determination to bear up and say some comforting and heartening word to his mother, now began:
“But you mustn’t, Ma.
Gee, you mustn’t cry.
I know it’s hard on you.
But I’ll be all right.
Sure I will.
It isn’t as bad as I thought.”
Yet inwardly saying:
“Oh, God how bad!”
And Mrs. Griffiths adding aloud:
“My poor boy!
My beloved son!
But we mustn’t give way.
No.
No.
‘Behold I will deliver thee out of the snares of the wicked.’
God has not deserted either of us.
And He will not — that I know.
‘He leadeth me by the still waters.’
‘He restoreth my soul.’
We must put our trust in Him.
Besides,” she added, briskly and practically, as much to strengthen herself as Clyde, “haven’t I already arranged for an appeal?
It is to be made yet this week.
They’re going to file a notice. And that means that your case can’t even be considered under a year.
But it is just the shock of seeing you so.
You see, I wasn’t quite prepared for it.”
She straightened her shoulders and now looked up and achieved a brave if strained smile.