Had she really married Samuel Povey?
Possibly she was dead.
Certainly her mother must be dead, and Aunt Harriet and Mr. Critchlow.
If alive, her mother must be at least eighty years of age.
The cumulative effect of merely remaining inactive when one ought to be active, was terrible.
Undoubtedly she should have communicated with her family.
It was silly not to have done so.
After all, even if she had, as a child, stolen a trifle of money from her wealthy aunt, what would that have mattered?
She had been proud. She was criminally proud.
That was her vice.
She admitted it frankly.
But she could not alter her pride.
Everybody had some weak spot.
Her reputation for sagacity, for commonsense, was, she knew, enormous; she always felt, when people were talking to her, that they regarded her as a very unusually wise woman.
And yet she had been guilty of the capital folly of cutting herself off from her family.
She was ageing, and she was alone in the world.
She was enriching herself; she had the most perfectly managed and the most respectable Pension in the world (she sincerely believed), and she was alone in the world.
Acquaintances she had--French people who never offered nor accepted hospitality other than tea or wine, and one or two members of the English commercial colony-- but her one friend was Fossette, aged three years!
She was the most solitary person on earth.
She had heard no word of Gerald, no word of anybody. Nobody whatever could truly be interested in her fate.
This was what she had achieved after a quarter of a century of ceaseless labour and anxiety, during which she had not once been away from the Rue Lord Byron for more than thirty hours at a stretch.
It was appalling--the passage of years; and the passage of years would grow more appalling.
Ten years hence, where would she be?
She pictured herself dying.
Horrible!
Of course there was nothing to prevent her from going back to Bursley and repairing the grand error of her girlhood.
No, nothing except the fact that her whole soul recoiled from the mere idea of any such enterprise!
She was a fixture in the Rue Lord Byron.
She was a part of the street.
She knew all that happened or could happen there.
She was attached to it by the heavy chains of habit.
In the chill way of long use she loved it.
There!
The incandescent gas-burner of the street-lamp outside had been turned down, as it was turned down every night!
If it is possible to love such a phenomenon, she loved that phenomenon.
That phenomenon was a portion of her life, dear to her.
An agreeable young man, that Peel-Swynnerton!
Then evidently, since her days in Bursley, the Peels and the Swynnertons, partners in business, must have intermarried, or there must have been some affair of a will.
Did he suspect who she was?
He had had a very self-conscious, guilty look.
No!
He could not have suspected who she was.
The idea was ridiculous.
Probably he did not even know that her name was Scales. And even if he knew her name, he had probably never heard of Gerald Scales, or the story of her flight.
Why, he could not have been born until after she had left Bursley!
Besides, the Peels were always quite aloof from the ordinary social life of the town.
No! He could not have suspected her identity.
It was infantile to conceive such a thing.
And yet, she inconsequently proceeded in the tangle of her afflicted mind, supposing he had suspected it!
Supposing by some queer chance, he had heard her forgotten story, and casually put two and two together!