"That is what my husband will never put up with.
If he does feel bound to resign himself to it, well, at any rate, you will be living in Verrieres and I shall be seeing you sometimes. My children, who love you so much, will go and see you.
Great God! I feel that I love my children all the more because they love you.
How is all this going to end?
I am wandering....
Anyway you understand your line of conduct. Be nice, polite, but not in any way disdainful to those coarse persons. I ask you on my knees; they will be the arbiters of our fate.
Do not fear for a moment but that, so far as you are concerned, my husband will conform to what public opinion lays down for him.
"It is you who will supply me with the anonymous letter. Equip yourself with patience and a pair of scissors, cut out from a book the words which you will see, then stick them with the mouth-glue on to the leaf of loose paper which I am sending you. It comes to me from M. Valenod.
Be on your guard against a search in your room; burn the pages of the book which you are going to mutilate.
If you do not find the words ready-made, have the patience to form them letter by letter.
I have made the anonymous letter too short.
ANONYMOUS LETTER.
'MADAME,
All your little goings-on are known, but the persons interested in stopping have been warned.
I have still sufficient friendship left for you to urge you to cease all relations with the little peasant.
If you are sensible enough to do this, your husband will believe that the notification he has received is misleading, and he will be left in his illusion. Remember that I have your secret; tremble, unhappy woman, you must now walk straight before me.'
"As soon as you have finished glueing together the words that make up this letter (have you recognised the director's special style of speech) leave the house, I will meet you.
"I will go into the village and come back with a troubled face. As a matter of fact I shall be very much troubled.
Great God!
What a risk I run, and all because you thought you guessed an anonymous letter.
Finally, looking very much upset, I shall give this letter to my husband and say that an unknown man handed it to me.
As for you, go for a walk with the children, on the road to the great woods, and do not come back before dinner-time.
"You will be able to see the tower of the dovecot from the top of the rocks.
If things go well for us, I will place a white handkerchief there, in case of the contrary, there will be nothing at all.
"Ungrateful man, will not your heart find out some means of telling me that you love me before you leave for that walk.
Whatever happens, be certain of one thing: I shall never survive our final separation by a single day.
Oh, you bad mother! but what is the use of my writing those two words, dear Julien?
I do not feel them, at this moment I can only think of you. I have only written them so as not to be blamed by you, but what is the good of deception now that I find myself face to face with losing you?
Yes, let my soul seem monstrous to you, but do not let me lie to the man whom I adore.
I have already deceived only too much in this life of mine.
Go! I forgive you if you love me no more.
I have not the time to read over my letter.
It is a small thing in my eyes to pay for the happy days that I have just passed in your arms with the price of my life.
You know that they will cost me more." _____
CHAPTER XXI
DIALOGUE WITH A MASTER _____
Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we;
For such as we are made of, such we be.—Twelfth Night. _____
It was with a childish pleasure that for a whole hour Julien put the words together.
As he came out of his room, he met his pupils with their mother. She took the letter with a simplicity and a courage whose calmness terrified him.
"Is the mouth-glue dry enough yet?" she asked him.
"And is this the woman who was so maddened by remorse?" he thought.
"What are her plans at this moment?"
He was too proud to ask her, but she had never perhaps pleased him more.
"If this turns out badly," she added with the same coolness, "I shall be deprived of everything.
Take charge of this, and bury it in some place of the mountain.
It will perhaps one day be my only resource."
She gave him a glass case in red morocco filled with gold and some diamonds.
"Now go," she said to him.
She kissed the children, embracing the youngest twice.