Very good!
The Retreat has done all that it could usefully do in your case.
We must think next of how to employ that mental activity which, rightly developed, is one of the most valuable qualities that you possess.
Let me ask, first, if you have in some degree recovered your tranquillity?”
“I feel like a different man, Father Benwell.”
“That’s right!
And your nervous sufferings—I don’t ask what they are; I only want to know if you experience a sense of relief?”
“A most welcome sense of relief,” Romayne answered, with a revival of the enthusiasm of other days. “The complete change in all my thoughts and convictions which I owe to you—”
“And to dear Penrose,” Father Benwell interposed, with the prompt sense of justice which no man could more becomingly assume.
“We must not forget Arthur.”
“Forget him?” Romayne repeated.
“Not a day passes without my thinking of him.
It is one of the happy results of the change in me that my mind does not dwell bitterly on the loss of him now.
I think of Penrose with admiration, as of one whose glorious life, with all its dangers, I should like to share!”
He spoke with a rising color and brightening eyes.
Already, the absorbent capacity of the Roman Church had drawn to itself that sympathetic side of his character which was also one of its strongest sides.
Already, his love for Penrose—hitherto inspired by the virtues of the man—had narrowed its range to sympathy with the trials and privileges of the priest.
Truly and deeply, indeed, had the physician consulted, in bygone days, reasoned on Romayne’s case!
That “occurrence of some new and absorbing influence in his life,” of which the doctor had spoken—that “working of some complete change in his habits of thought”—had found its way to him at last, after the wife’s simple devotion had failed, through the subtler ministrations of the priest.
Some men, having Father Benwell’s object in view, would have taken instant advantage of the opening offered to them by Romayne’s unguarded enthusiasm.
The illustrious Jesuit held fast by the wise maxim which forbade him to do anything in a hurry.
“No,” he said, “your life must not be the life of our dear friend.
The service on which the Church employs Penrose is not the fit service for you.
You have other claims on us.”
Romayne looked at his spiritual adviser with a momentary change of expression—a relapse into the ironical bitterness of the past time.
“Have you forgotten that I am, and can be, only a layman?” he asked.
“What claims can I have, except the common claim of all faithful members of the Church on the good offices of the priesthood?”
He paused for a moment, and continued with the abruptness of a man struck by a new idea.
“Yes! I have perhaps one small aim of my own—the claim of being allowed to do my duty.”
“In what respect, dear Romayne?”
“Surely you can guess?
I am a rich man; I have money lying idle, which it is my duty (and my privilege) to devote to the charities and necessities of the Church.
And, while I am speaking of this, I must own that I am a little surprised at your having said nothing to me on the subject.
You have never yet pointed out to me the manner in which I might devote my money to the best and noblest uses.
Was it forgetfulness on your part?”
Father Benwell shook his head.
“No,” he replied; “I can’t honestly say that.”
“Then you had a reason for your silence?”
“Yes.”
“May I not know it?”
Father Benwell got up and walked to the fireplace.
Now there are various methods of getting up and walking to a fireplace, and they find their way to outward expression through the customary means of look and manner.
We may feel cold, and may only want to warm ourselves. Or we may feel restless, and may need an excuse for changing our position. Or we may feel modestly confused, and may be anxious to hide it.
Father Benwell, from head to foot, expressed modest confusion, and polite anxiety to hide it.
“My good friend,” he said, “I am afraid of hurting your feelings.”
Romayne was a sincere convert, but there were instincts still left in him which resented this expression of regard, even when it proceeded from a man whom he respected and admired.
“You will hurt my feelings,” he answered, a little sharply, “if you are not plain with me.”
“Then I will be plain with you,” Father Benwell rejoined.
“The Church—speaking through me, as her unworthy interpreter—feels a certain delicacy in approaching You on the subject of money.”
“Why?”