Mrs. Linton's glance followed him suspiciously: every movement woke a new sentiment in her.
After a pause and a prolonged gaze, she resumed; addressing me in accents of indignant disappointment:-
‘Oh, you see, Nelly, he would not relent a moment to keep me out of the grave. THAT is how I'm loved!
Well, never mind.
That is not MY Heathcliff.
I shall love mine yet; and take him with me: he's in my soul.
And,’ added she musingly, ‘the thing that irks me most is this shattered prison, after all.
I'm tired of being enclosed here.
I'm wearying to escape into that glorious world, and to be always there: not seeing it dimly through tears, and yearning for it through the walls of an aching heart: but really with it, and in it.
Nelly, you think you are better and more fortunate than I; in full health and strength: you are sorry for me—very soon that will be altered.
I shall be sorry for YOU.
I shall be incomparably beyond and above you all.
I WONDER he won't be near me!’ She went on to herself. ‘I thought he wished it.
Heathcliff, dear! you should not be sullen now.
Do come to me, Heathcliff.’
In her eagerness she rose and supported herself on the arm of the chair.
At that earnest appeal he turned to her, looking absolutely desperate.
His eyes, wide and wet, at last flashed fiercely on her; his breast heaved convulsively.
An instant they held asunder, and then how they met I hardly saw, but Catherine made a spring, and he caught her, and they were locked in an embrace from which I thought my mistress would never be released alive: in fact, to my eyes, she seemed directly insensible.
He flung himself into the nearest seat, and on my approaching hurriedly to ascertain if she had fainted, he gnashed at me, and foamed like a mad dog, and gathered her to him with greedy jealousy.
I did not feel as if I were in the company of a creature of my own species: it appeared that he would not understand, though I spoke to him; so I stood off, and held my tongue, in great perplexity.
A movement of Catherine's relieved me a little presently: she put up her hand to clasp his neck, and bring her cheek to his as he held her; while he, in return, covering her with frantic caresses, said wildly—
‘You teach me now how cruel you've been—cruel and false. WHY did you despise me? WHY did you betray your own heart, Cathy?
I have not one word of comfort.
You deserve this.
You have killed yourself.
Yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they'll blight you—they'll damn you.
You loved me—then what RIGHT had you to leave me?
What right—answer me—for the poor fancy you felt for Linton?
Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, YOU, of your own will, did it.
I have not broken your heart—YOU have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.
So much the worse for me that I am strong.
Do I want to live?
What kind of living will it be when you—oh, God! would YOU like to live with your soul in the grave?’
‘Let me alone.
Let me alone,’ sobbed Catherine. ‘If I've done wrong, I'm dying for it.
It is enough!
You left me too: but I won't upbraid you!
I forgive you.
Forgive me!’
‘It is hard to forgive, and to look at those eyes, and feel those wasted hands,’ he answered. ‘Kiss me again; and don't let me see your eyes!
I forgive what you have done to me.
I love MY murderer—but YOURS!
How can I?’
They were silent-their faces hid against each other, and washed by each other's tears.
At least, I suppose the weeping was on both sides; as it seemed Heathcliff could weep on a great occasion like this.
I grew very uncomfortable, meanwhile; for the afternoon wore fast away, the man whom I had sent off returned from his errand, and I could distinguish, by the shine of the western sun up the valley, a concourse thickening outside Gimmerton chapel porch.
‘Service is over,’ I announced. ‘My master will be here in half an hour.’
Heathcliff groaned a curse, and strained Catherine closer: she never moved.
Ere long I perceived a group of the servants passing up the road towards the kitchen wing.