'I thought they got on so badly, as a rule.'
'Perhaps.
But only artists produce for each other the world that is fit to live in.
If you can arrange THAT for Winifred, it is perfect.'
'But you think she wouldn't come?'
'I don't know.
Gudrun is rather self-opinionated.
She won't go cheap anywhere.
Or if she does, she'll pretty soon take herself back.
So whether she would condescend to do private teaching, particularly here, in Beldover, I don't know.
But it would be just the thing.
Winifred has got a special nature.
And if you can put into her way the means of being self-sufficient, that is the best thing possible.
She'll never get on with the ordinary life.
You find it difficult enough yourself, and she is several skins thinner than you are.
It is awful to think what her life will be like unless she does find a means of expression, some way of fulfilment.
You can see what mere leaving it to fate brings.
You can see how much marriage is to be trusted to—look at your own mother.'
'Do you think mother is abnormal?'
'No!
I think she only wanted something more, or other than the common run of life.
And not getting it, she has gone wrong perhaps.'
'After producing a brood of wrong children,' said Gerald gloomily.
'No more wrong than any of the rest of us,' Birkin replied. 'The most normal people have the worst subterranean selves, take them one by one.'
'Sometimes I think it is a curse to be alive,' said Gerald with sudden impotent anger.
'Well,' said Birkin, 'why not!
Let it be a curse sometimes to be alive—at other times it is anything but a curse.
You've got plenty of zest in it really.'
'Less than you'd think,' said Gerald, revealing a strange poverty in his look at the other man.
There was silence, each thinking his own thoughts.
'I don't see what she has to distinguish between teaching at the Grammar School, and coming to teach Win,' said Gerald.
'The difference between a public servant and a private one.
The only nobleman today, king and only aristocrat, is the public, the public.
You are quite willing to serve the public—but to be a private tutor—'
'I don't want to serve either—'
'No!
And Gudrun will probably feel the same.'
Gerald thought for a few minutes. Then he said:
'At all events, father won't make her feel like a private servant.
He will be fussy and greatful enough.'
'So he ought.
And so ought all of you.
Do you think you can hire a woman like Gudrun Brangwen with money?
She is your equal like anything—probably your superior.'
'Is she?' said Gerald.
'Yes, and if you haven't the guts to know it, I hope she'll leave you to your own devices.'
'Nevertheless,' said Gerald, 'if she is my equal, I wish she weren't a teacher, because I don't think teachers as a rule are my equal.'
'Nor do I, damn them.
But am I a teacher because I teach, or a parson because I preach?'
Gerald laughed.