‘The motor-car went Poop-poop-poop, As it raced along the road.
Who was it steered it into a pond?
Ingenious Mr. Toad!
O, how clever I am!
How clever, how clever, how very clev – ’
A slight noise at a distance behind him made him turn his head and look.
O horror!
O misery!
O despair!
About two fields off, a chauffeur in his leather gaiters and two large rural policemen were visible, running towards him as hard as they could go!
Poor Toad sprang to his feet and pelted away again, his heart in his mouth.
O, my!’ he gasped, as he panted along, ‘what an ass I am!
What a conceited and heedless ass!
Swaggering again!
Shouting and singing songs again!
Sitting still and gassing again!
O my! O my! O my!’
He glanced back, and saw to his dismay that they were gaining on him.
On he ran desperately, but kept looking back, and saw that they still gained steadily.
He did his best, but he was a fat animal, and his legs were short, and still they gained.
He could hear them close behind him now.
Ceasing to heed where he was going, he struggled on blindly and wildly, looking back over his shoulder at the now triumphant enemy, when suddenly the earth failed under his feet, he grasped at the air, and, splash! he found himself head over ears in deep water, rapid water, water that bore him along with a force he could not contend with; and he knew that in his blind panic he had run straight into the river!
He rose to the surface and tried to grasp the reeds and the rushes that grew along the water’s edge close under the bank, but the stream was so strong that it tore them out of his hands.
‘O my!’ gasped poor Toad, ‘if ever I steal a motor-car again!
If ever I sing another conceited song’ – then down he went, and came up breathless and spluttering.
Presently he saw that he was approaching a big dark hole in the bank, just above his head, and as the stream bore him past he reached up with a paw and caught hold of the edge and held on.
Then slowly and with difficulty he drew himself up out of the water, till at last he was able to rest his elbows on the edge of the hole.
There he remained for some minutes, puffing and panting, for he was quite exhausted.
As he sighed and blew and stared before him into the dark hole, some bright small thing shone and twinkled in its depths, moving towards him.
As it approached, a face grew up gradually around it, and it was a familiar face!
Brown and small, with whiskers.
Grave and round, with neat ears and silky hair.
It was the Water Rat!
The Return of Ulysses
When it began to grow dark, the Rat, with an air of excitement and mystery, summoned them back into the parlour, stood each of them up alongside of his little heap, and proceeded to dress them up for the coming expedition.
He was very earnest and thoroughgoing about it, and the affair took quite a long time.
First, there was a belt to go round each animal, and then a sword to be stuck into each belt, and then a cutlass on the other side to balance it.
Then a pair of pistols, a policeman’s truncheon, several sets of handcuffs, some bandages and sticking-plaster, and a flask and a sandwich-case.
The Badger laughed good-humouredly and said,
‘All right, Ratty! It amuses you and it doesn’t hurt me.
I’m going to do all I’ve got to do with this here stick.’
But the Rat only said,
‘Please, Badger.
You know I shouldn’t like you to blame me afterwards and say I had forgotten anything!’
When all was quite ready, the Badger took a dark lantern in one paw, grasped his great stick with the other, and said,
‘Now then, follow me!
Mole first, ‘cos I’m very pleased with him; Rat next; Toad last.
And look here, Toady!
Don’t you chatter so much as usual, or you’ll be sent back, as sure as fate!’
The Toad was so anxious not to be left out that he took up the inferior position assigned to him without a murmur, and the animals set off.