You think I lived years with bullfighters not to know how they are after the Corrida?'
"'Is it true, Pilar?' he asked me.
"'When did I lie to you?' I told him.
"'It is true, Pilar, I am a finished man this night.
You do not reproach me?'
"'No, _hombre_,' I said to him.
'But don't kill people every day, Pablo.'
"And he slept that night like a baby and I woke him in the morning at daylight but I could not sleep that night and I got up and sat in a chair and looked out of the window and I could see the square in the moonlight where the lines had been and across the square the trees shining in the moonlight, and the darkness of their shadows, and the benches bright too in the moonlight, and the scattered bottles shining, and beyond the edge of the cliff where they had all been thrown.
And there was no sound but the splashing of the water in the fountain and I sat there and I thought we have begun badly.
"The window was open and up the square from the Fonda I could hear a woman crying.
I went out on the balcony standing there in my bare feet on the iron and the moon shone on the faces of all the buildings of the square and the crying was coming from the balcony of the house of Don Guillermo.
It was his wife and she was on the balcony kneeling and crying.
"Then I went back inside the room and I sat there and I did not wish to think for that was the worst day of my life until one other day."
"What was the other?" Maria asked.
"Three days later when the fascists took the town."
"Do not tell me about it," said Maria.
"I do not want to hear it.
This is enough.
This was too much."
"I told you that you should not have listened," Pilar said.
"See.
I did not want you to hear it.
Now you will have bad dreams."
"No," said Maria.
"But I do not want to hear more."
"I wish you would tell me of it sometime," Robert Jordan said.
"I will," Pilar said.
"But it is bad for Maria."
"I don't want to hear it," Maria said pitifully.
"Please, Pilar.
And do not tell it if I am there, for I might listen in spite of myself."
Her lips were working and Robert Jordan thought she would cry.
"Please, Pilar, do not tell it."
"Do not worry, little cropped head," Pilar said.
"Do not worry.
But I will tell the _Ingles_ sometime."
"But I want to be there when he is there," Maria said.
"Oh, Pilar, do not tell it at all."
"I will tell it when thou art working."
"No.
No.
Please.
Let us not tell it at all," Maria said.
"It is only fair to tell it since I have told what we did," Pilar said.
"But you shall never hear it."
"Are there no pleasant things to speak of?" Maria said.
"Do we have to talk always of horrors?"
"This afternoon," Pilar said, "thou and _Ingles_.
The two of you can speak of what you wish."
"Then that the afternoon should come," Maria said.