Remember it isn't goofy if you can make it stick.
But that is not the way you are supposed to make it.
You should make it not only possible but sure.
But look at how it all has gone.
Well, it was wrong in the first place and such things accentuate disaster as a snowball rolls up wet snow.
He looked up from where he was squatted by the table and saw Maria and she smiled at him.
He grinned back with the front of his face and selected four more grenades and put them in his pockets.
I could unscrew the detonators and just use them, he thought.
But I don't think the fragmentation will have any bad effect.
It will come instantaneously with the explosion of the charge and it won't disperse it.
At least, I don't think it will.
I'm sure it won't.
Have a little confidence, he told himself.
And you, last night, thinking about how you and your grandfather were so terrific and your father was a coward.
Show yourself a little confidence now.
He grinned at Maria again but the grin was still no deeper than the skin that felt tight over his cheekbones and his mouth.
She thinks you're wonderful, he thought.
I think you stink.
And the _gloria_ and all that nonsense that you had.
You had wonderful ideas, didn't you?
You had this world all taped, didn't you?
The hell with all of that.
Take it easy, he told himself.
Don't get into a rage.
That's just a way out too.
There are always ways out.
You've got to bite on the nail now.
There isn't any need to deny everything there's been just because you are going to lose it.
Don't be like some damned snake with a broken back biting at itself; and your back isn't broken either, you hound.
Wait until you're hurt before you start to cry.
Wait until the fight before you get angry.
There's lots of time for it in a fight.
It will be some use to you in a fight.
Pilar came over to him with the bag.
"It is strong now," she said.
"Those grenades are very good, _Ingles_. You can have confidence in them."
"How do you feel, woman?"
She looked at him and shook her head and smiled.
He wondered how far into her face the smile went.
It looked deep enough.
"Good," she said. "_Dentro de la gravedad_."
Then she said, squatting by him, "How does it seem to thee now that it is really starting?"
"That we are few," Robert Jordan said to her quickly.
"To me, too," she said.
"Very few."
Then she said still to him alone, "The Maria can hold the horses by herself.
I am not needed for that.
We will hobble them.
They are cavalry horses and the firing will not panic them.
I will go to the lower post and do that which was the duty of Pablo.