We must use it as well as we can and we have used it very well so far.
If he had known how many men in history have had to use a hill to die on it would not have cheered him any for, in the moment he was passing through, men are not impressed by what has happened to other men in similar circumstances any more than a widow of one day is helped by the knowledge that other loved husbands have died.
Whether one has fear of it or not, one's death is difficult to accept.
Sordo had accepted it but there was no sweetness in its acceptance even at fifty-two, with three wounds and him surrounded on a hill.
He joked about it to himself but he looked at the sky and at the far mountains and he swallowed the wine and he did not want it.
If one must die, he thought, and clearly one must, I can die.
But I hate it.
Dying was nothing and he had no picture of it nor fear of it in his mind.
But living was a field of grain blowing in the wind on the side of a hill.
Living was a hawk in the sky.
Living was an earthen jar of water in the dust of the threshing with the grain flailed out and the chaff blowing.
Living was a horse between your legs and a carbine under one leg and a hill and a valley and a stream with trees along it and the far side of the valley and the hills beyond.
Sordo passed the wine bottle back and nodded his head in thanks.
He leaned forward and patted the dead horse on the shoulder where the muzzle of the automatic rifle had burned the hide.
He could still smell the burnt hair.
He thought how he had held the horse there, trembling, with the fire around them, whispering and cracking, over and around them like a curtain, and had carefully shot him just at the intersection of the cross-lines between the two eyes and the ears.
Then as the horse pitched down he had dropped down behind his warm, wet back to get the gun to going as they came up the hill.
"_Eras mucho caballo_," he said, meaning, "Thou wert plenty of horse."
El Sordo lay now on his good side and looked up at the sky.
He was lying on a heap of empty cartridge hulls but his head was protected by the rock and his body lay in the lee of the horse.
His wounds had stiffened badly and he had much pain and he felt too tired to move.
"What passes with thee, old one?" the man next to him asked.
"Nothing.
I am taking a little rest."
"Sleep," the other said. "_They_ will wake us when they come."
Just then some one shouted from down the slope.
"Listen, bandits!" the voice came from behind the rocks where the closest automatic rifle was placed.
"Surrender now before the planes blow you to pieces."
"What is it he says?" Sordo asked.
Joaquin told him.
Sordo rolled to one side and pulled himself up so that he was crouched behind the gun again.
"Maybe the planes aren't coming," he said.
"Don't answer them and do not fire.
Maybe we can get them to attack again."
"If we should insult them a little?" the man who had spoken to Joaquin about La Pasionaria's son in Russia asked.
"No," Sordo said.
"Give me thy big pistol.
Who has a big pistol?"
"Here."
"Give it to me."
Crouched on his knees he took the big 9 mm. Star and fired one shot into the ground beside the dead horse, waited, then fired again four times at irregular intervals.
Then he waited while he counted sixty and then fired a final shot directly into the body of the dead horse.
He grinned and handed back the pistol.
"Reload it," he whispered, "and that every one should keep his mouth shut and no one shoot."
"_Bandidos!_" the voice shouted from behind the rocks.
No one spoke on the hill.
"_Bandidos!_ Surrender now before we blow thee to little pieces."
"They're biting," Sordo whispered happily.
As he watched, a man showed his head over the top of the rocks.
There was no shot from the hilltop and the head went down again.