"You're surprised, of course, by this early visit from a stranger."
"Ho-ho!"
"But I've come on a delicate matter."
"You're kidding."
"You were at the auction yesterday and made a remarkable impression on me."
"You're being vulgar!"
"Heavens!
To be vulgar to such a charming woman would be inhuman."
"Ghastly!" .
The conversation continued along these lines, now and then producing splendid results.
But all the time Ostap's compliments became briefer and more watery.
He had noticed that the second chair was not there.
It was up to him to find a clue.
Interspersing his questions with flowery Eastern flattery, he found out all about the events of the day before in Ellochka's life.
"Something new," he thought, "the chairs are crawling all over the place, like cockroaches."
"Sell me the chair, dear lady," said Ostap unexpectedly.
"I like it very much.
Only with your female intuition could you have chosen such an artistic object.
Sell it to me, young lady, and I'll give you seven roubles."
"You're being vulgar, kid," said Ellochka slyly.
"Ho-ho!" said Ostap, trying to make her understand.
I must approach her differently, he decided. Let's suggest an exchange.
"You know that in Europe now and in the best homes in Philadelphia they've reintroduced the ancient custom of pouring tea through a strainer?
It's remarkably effective and elegant."
Ellochka pricked up her ears.
"A diplomat I know has just arrived back from Vienna and brought me one as a present.
It's an amusing thing."
"It must be great," said Ellochka with interest.
"Oho!
Ho-ho!
Let's make an exchange.
You give me the chair and I'll give you the tea-strainer.
Would you like that? "
The sun rolled about in the strainer like an egg.
Spots of light danced on the ceiling.
A dark corner of the room was suddenly lit up.
The strainer made the same overwhelming impression on Ellochka as an old tin can makes on a Mumbo Jumbo cannibal.
In such circumstances the cannibal shouts at the top of his voice. Ellochka, however, merely uttered a quiet
"Ho-ho."
Without giving her time to recover, Ostap put the strainer down on the table, took the chair, and having found out the address of the charming lady's husband, courteously bowed his way out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
ABSALOM VLADIMIROVICH IZNURENKOV
There followed a busy time for the concessionaires.
Ostap contended that the chairs should be struck while the iron was hot.
Ippolit Matveyevich was granted an amnesty, although Ostap, from time to time, would ask him such questions as:
"Why the hell did I ever take up with you?
What do I need you for, anyway?
You ought to go home to your registry office where the corpses and newborn babes are waiting for you.
Don't make the infants suffer.
Go back there!"