Don't pay attention to his suit; that's part of our security measures.
Take us somewhere right away.
We've got to have a talk."
Kislarsky, who had come to the Caucasus to recover from his gruelling experiences in Stargorod, was completely crushed.
Burbling something about a recession in the roll-bun trade, Kislarsky set his old friend in a carriage with silver-plated spokes and footboards and drove them to Mount David.
They went up to the top of the restaurant mountain by cable-car.
Tiflis slowly disappeared into the depths in a thousand lights.
The conspirators were ascending to the very stars.
At the restaurant the tables were set up on a lawn.
A Caucasian band made a dull drumming noise, and a little girl did a dance between the tables of her own accord, watched happily by her parents.
"Order something," suggested Bender.
The experienced Kislarsky ordered wine, salad, and Georgian cheese.
"And something to eat," said Ostap. "If you only knew, dear Mr. Kislarsky, the things that Ippolit Matveyevich and I have had to suffer, you'd be amazed at our courage."
There he goes again, thought Kislarsky in dismay. Now my troubles will start all over again.
Why didn't I go to the Crimea?
I definitely wanted to go to the Crimea, and Henrietta advised me to go, too.
But he ordered two shishkebabs without a murmur, and turned his unctuous face towards Ostap.
"Here's the point," said Ostap, looking around and lowering his voice.
"They've been following us for two months and will probably ambush us tomorrow at the secret meeting-place.
We may have to shoot our way out."
Kislarsky's cheeks turned the colour of lead.
"Under the circumstances," continued Ostap, "we're glad to meet a loyal patriot."
"Mmm .. . yes," said Ippolit Matveyevich proudly, remembering the hungry ardour with which he had danced the lezginka not far from Sioni.
"Yes," whispered Ostap, "we're hoping-with your aid-to defeat the enemy.
I'll give you a pistol."
"There's no need," said Kislarsky firmly.
The next moment it was made clear that the chairman of the stock-exchange committee would not have the opportunity of taking part in the coming battle.
He regretted it very much.
He was not familiar with warfare, and it was just for this reason that he had been elected chairman of the stock-exchange committee.
He was very much disappointed, but was prepared to offer financial assistance to save the life of the father of Russian democracy (he was himself an Octobrist).
"You're a true friend of society," said Ostap triumphantly, washing down the spicy kebab with sweetish Kipiani wine. "Fifty can save the master-mind."
"Won't twenty save the master-mind?" asked Kislarsky dolefully.
Ostap could not restrain himself and kicked Ippolit Matveyevich under the table in delight.
"I consider that haggling," said Ippolit Matveyevich, "is somewhat out of place here."
He immediately received a kick on the thigh which meant- Well done, Pussy, that's the stuff!
It was the first time in his life that Kislarsky had heard the master-mind's voice.
He was so overcome that he immediately handed over fifty roubles.
Then he paid the bill and, leaving the friends at the table, departed with the excuse that he had a headache.
Half an hour later he dispatched a telegram to his wife in Stargorod:
GOING TO CRIMEA AS YOU ADVISED STOP PREPARE BASKET JUST IN CASE
The many privations which Ostap had suffered demanded immediate compensation.
That evening the smooth operator drank himself into a stupor and practically fell out of the cable-car on the way back to the hotel.
The next day he realized a long-cherished dream and bought a heavenly grey polka-dot suit.
It was hot wearing it, but he nevertheless did so, sweating profusely.
In the Tif-Co-Op men's shop, Vorobyaninov was bought a white pique" suit and a yachting cap with the gold insignia of some unknown yacht club.
In this attire Ippolit Matveyevich looked like an amateur admiral in the merchant navy.
His figure straightened up and his gait became firmer.
"Ah," said Bender, "first rate!
If I were a girl, I'd give a handsome he-man like you an eight per cent reduction off my usual price.
My, we can certainly get around like this.