"You philistine!" said Lapis boastfully.
"Why is it that in your poem
'The Budyonny Stakes' the jockey tightens the hame strap and then gets into the coach box?
Have you ever seen a hame strap?"
"Yes."
"What's it like?"
"Leave me alone.
You're nuts!" ,
"Have you ever seen a coach box or been to the races?"
"You don't have to go everywhere!" cried Lapis. "Pushkin wrote poems about Turkey without ever having been there."
"Oh, yes. Erzerum is in Tula province, of course."
Lapis did not appreciate the sarcasm.
He continued heatedly.
"Pushkin wrote from material he read.
He read the history of the Pugachov revolt and then wrote about it.
It was Entich who told me about the races."
After this masterly defence, Persidsky dragged the resisting Lapis into the next room.
The onlookers followed.
On the wall hung a large newspaper clipping edged in black like an obituary notice.
"Did you write this piece for the Captain's Bridge!"
"Yes, I did."
"I believe it was your first attempt at prose.
Congratulations!
'The waves rolled across the pier and fell headlong below like a jack.' A lot of help to the Captain's Bridge you are!'
The Bridge won't forget you for some time!"
"What's the matter?"
"The matter is . . . do you know what a jack is?"
"Of course I know. Leave me alone."
"How do you envisage a jack?
Describe it in your own words."
"It. . . sort of. . . falls."
"A jack falls.
Note that, everyone.
A jack falls headlong.
Just a moment, Lapis, I'll bring you half a rouble.
Don't let him go."
But this time, too, there was no half-rouble forthcoming.
Persidsky brought back the twenty-first volume of the Brockhaus encyclopaedia.
"Listen!
'Jack: a machine for lifting heavy weights.
A simple jack used for lifting carriages, etc., consists of a mobile toothed bar gripped by a rod which is turned by means of a lever' . . .
And here . . .
'In 1879 John Dixon set up the obelisk known as Cleopatra's Needle by means of four workers operating four hydraulic jacks.'
And this instrument, in your opinion, can fall headlong?
So Brockhaus has deceived humanity for fifty years?
Why do you write such rubbish instead of learning?
Answer!"
"I need the money."
"But you never have any.
You're always trying to cadge half-roubles."