Yuri Olesha Fullscreen Three fat men (1924)

Pause

But what about the flying balloon man?

We know they took him back to the Palace bakery.

And that is when the accident happened.

One of the servants who was carrying the cake stepped on an orange peel.

"Watch out!" the other servants cried.

"Help!" the balloon man shouted when he felt himself sliding.

But the servant had lost his balance.

He came crashing down on the hard tile floor.

He jerked his long legs and howled.

"Hooray!" the kitchen-boys shrieked with joy.

"What the devil!" the balloon man said hopelessly, as he tumbled down together with the rest of the cake, landing on top of the servant who had slipped.

The huge platter was smashed to pieces.

Snowy puffs of whipped cream and icing flew in all directions.

The servant jumped to his feet and ran off.

The kitchen-boys whooped and danced.

The balloon man sat on the kitchen floor in a puddle of raspberry syrup, surrounded by bits of broken dish and mountains of delicious whipped cream that were sadly melting away on the ruined cake.

It was with great relief that he realised that the three head pastrycooks had gone, and the only people left in the kitchen besides himself were the kitchen-boys.

"I'll get them to help me to escape," he decided. "My balloons will do the trick."

He was still holding on to the strings.

The kitchen-boys crowded round him.

He could tell by the look in their eyes that they thought the balloons were the greatest treasures in the world and that each of the boys dreamed of having one for his very own.

So he said:

"I'm sick and tired of all these adventures.

I'm not a little boy any more, and I'm no great hero.

I hate flying, I'm scared of the Three Fat Men, and I don't know how to look lovely in the middle of a fancy cake.

I'd like nothing better than to see the Palace rid of me."

The boys stopped laughing.

The balloons swayed in the air.

Sun-rays coming through the window lit them up and burned inside each one with a blue, yellow, or red flame.

They were the grandest balloons in all the world.

"Can you get me out of here?" the balloon man asked, tugging at the strings.

"Yes," one of the boys answered softly.

And then he added: "Would you give us the balloons?"

The balloon man had won.

"Oh, all right," he said, as if he didn't care.

"These balloons cost a lot of money.

I need them very much, but I think I'll give them to you.

I like you boys.

You have such happy, honest faces, and such merry voices."

"Brats!" he added to himself.

"The head pastrycook is in the pantry now," one of the boys said. "He's measuring out supplies for tea cookies.

We have to get you out of here before he comes back."

"That's right," the balloon man agreed.

"There's no use wasting time."

"Wait, I know a secret."

With these words one of the kitchen-boys went over to a big copper pot that was on a tile stand.

He raised the lid.

"Let's have the balloons first."

"You're crazy!" the balloon man said angrily. "What do I want with that pot?

I want to get out of here.