I asked him what that meant, and he says you got two selves, one that you know about and the other that you don’t know about, because it’s subconscious.
It shook me up.
Did I really do it, and not know it?
God Almighty, I can’t believe that!
I didn’t do it!
I loved her so, then, I tell you, that I would have died for her!
To hell with the subconscious.
I don’t believe it.
It’s just a lot of hooey, that this guy thought up so he could fool the judge.
You know what you’re doing, and you do it.
I didn’t do it, I know that.
That’s what I’m going to tell her, if I ever see her again.
I’m up awful tight, now.
I think they give you dope in the grub, so you don’t think about it.
I try not to think.
Whenever I can make it, I’m out there with Cora, with the sky above us, and the water around us, talking about how happy we’re going to be, and how it’s going to last forever.
I guess I’m over the big river, when I’m there with her.
That’s when it seems real, about another life, not with all this stuff how Father McConnell has got it figured out.
When I’m with her I believe it.
When I start to figure, it all goes blooey.
No stay.
Here they come.
Father McConnell says prayers help.
If you’ve got this far, send up one for me, and Cora, and make it that we’re together, wherever it is.