“God help me.”
He saw Parkhill still running, then falling to lie safe.
Spender was being gathered in by a loose, running net of men.
At the hilltop, behind two rocks, Spender lay, grinning with exhaustion from the thin atmosphere, great islands of sweat under each arm.
The captain saw the two rocks.
There was an interval between them of some four inches, giving free access to Spender’s chest.
“Hey, you!” cried Parkhill.
“Here’s a slug for your head!”
Captain Wilder waited.
Go on, Spender, he thought.
Get out, like you said you would.
You’ve only a few minutes to escape.
Get out and come back later.
Go on.
You said you would.
Go down in the tunnels you said you found, and lie there and live for months and years, reading your fine books and bathing in your temple pools.
Go on, now, man, before it’s too late.
Spender did not move from his position.
“What’s wrong with him?” the captain asked himself.
The captain picked up his gun.
He watched the running, hiding men.
He looked at the towers of the little clean Martian village, like sharply carved chess pieces lying in the afternoon.
He saw the rocks and the interval between where Spender’s chest was revealed.
Parkhill was charging up, screaming in fury.
“No, Parkhill,” said the captain.
“I can’t let you do it.
Nor the others.
No, none of you.
Only me.”
He raised the gun and sighted it.
Will I be clean after this? he thought.
Is it right that it’s me who does it?
Yes, it is.
I know what I’m doing for what reason and it’s right, because I think I’m the right person.
I hope and pray I can live up to this.
He nodded his head at Spender.
“Go on,” he called in a loud whisper which no one heard.
“I’ll give you thirty seconds more to get away.
Thirty seconds!”
The watch ticked on his wrist, The captain watched it tick.
The men were running.
Spender did not move.
The watch ticked for a long time, very loudly in the captain’s ears.
“Go on, Spender, go on, get away!”
The thirty seconds were up.
The gun was sighted.
The captain drew a deep breath.
“Spender,” he said, exhaling.
He pulled the trigger.
All that happened was that a faint powdering of rock went up in the sunlight.