I’m confident you’ll find we’re all sane.”
“Let me check your papers to be sure they’re in order for a «cure.»” He checked a file.
“Yes. You know, such cases as yours need special «curing.»
The people in that hall are simpler forms. But once you’ve gone this far, I must point out, with primary, secondary, auditory, olfactory, and labial hallucinations, as well as tactile and optical fantasies, it is pretty bad business.
We have to resort to euthanasia.”
The captain leaped up with a roar.
“Look here, we’ve stood quite enough!
Test us, tap our knees, check our hearts, exercise us, ask questions!”
“You are free to speak.”
The captain raved for an hour.
The psychologist listened.
“Incredible,” he mused.
“Most detailed dream fantasy I’ve ever heard.”
“God damn it, we’ll show you the rocket ship!” screamed the captain.
“I’d like to see it.
Can you manifest it in this room?”
“Oh, certainly.
It’s in that file of yours, under R.”
Mr. Xxx peered seriously into his file. He went “Tsk” and shut the file solemnly.
“Why did you tell me to look?
The rocket isn’t there.”
“Of course not, you idiot!
I was joking.
Does an insane man joke?”
“You find some odd senses of humor.
Now, take me out to your rocket.
I wish to see it.”
It was noon. The day was very hot when they reached the rocket.
“So.”
The psychologist walked up to the ship and tapped it.
It gonged softly.
“May I go inside?” he asked slyly.
“You may.”
Mr. Xxx stepped in and was gone for a long time.
“Of all the silly, exasperating things.” The captain chewed a cigar as he waited.
“For two cents I’d go back home and tell people not to bother with Mars.
What a suspicious bunch of louts.”
“I gather that a good number of their population are insane, sir.
That seems to be their main reason for doubting.”
“Nevertheless, this is all so damned irritating.”
The psychologist emerged from the ship after half an hour of prowling, tapping, listening, smelling, tasting.
“Now do you believe!” shouted the captain, as if he were deaf.
The psychologist shut his eyes and scratched his nose.
“This is the most incredible example of sensual hallucination and hypnotic suggestion I’ve ever encountered.
I went through your «rocket,» as you call it.”
He tapped the hull.
“I hear it. Auditory fantasy.”
He drew a breath.
“I smell it.
Olfactory hallucination, induced by sensual telepathy.”