Bernard Shaw Fullscreen The Man and the Superman (1905)

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THE STATUE.

What used the ladies to say, Juan?

DON JUAN.

Oh, come!

Confidence for confidence.

First tell me what you used to say to the ladies.

THE STATUE.

I!

Oh, I swore that I would be faithful to the death; that I should die if they refused me; that no woman could ever be to me what she was—

ANA.

She?

Who?

THE STATUE.

Whoever it happened to be at the time, my dear.

I had certain things I always said.

One of them was that even when I was eighty, one white hair of the woman I loved would make me tremble more than the thickest gold tress from the most beautiful young head.

Another was that I could not bear the thought of anyone else being the mother of my children.

DON JUAN. [revolted] You old rascal!

THE STATUE. [Stoutly] Not a bit; for I really believed it with all my soul at the moment.

I had a heart: not like you.

And it was this sincerity that made me successful.

DON JUAN.

Sincerity!

To be fool enough to believe a ramping, stamping, thumping lie: that is what you call sincerity!

To be so greedy for a woman that you deceive yourself in your eagerness to deceive her: sincerity, you call it!

THE STATUE.

Oh, damn your sophistries!

I was a man in love, not a lawyer.

And the women loved me for it, bless them!

DON JUAN.

They made you think so.

What will you say when I tell you that though I played the lawyer so callously, they made me think so too?

I also had my moments of infatuation in which I gushed nonsense and believed it.

Sometimes the desire to give pleasure by saying beautiful things so rose in me on the flood of emotion that I said them recklessly.

At other times I argued against myself with a devilish coldness that drew tears.

But I found it just as hard to escape in the one case as in the others.

When the lady's instinct was set on me, there was nothing for it but lifelong servitude or flight.

ANA.

You dare boast, before me and my father, that every woman found you irresistible.

DON JUAN.

Am I boasting?

It seems to me that I cut the most pitiable of figures.

Besides, I said "when the lady's instinct was set on me."

It was not always so; and then, heavens! what transports of virtuous indignation! what overwhelming defiance to the dastardly seducer! what scenes of Imogen and Iachimo!

ANA.

I made no scenes.

I simply called my father.

DON JUAN.

And he came, sword in hand, to vindicate outraged honor and morality by murdering me.

THE STATUE.