I'm repeating her own words.
Then she ran away from me, too, and you found her again and led her to the altar, and now they say she ran away from you again and came here.
Is that true?
Lebedev informed me and that's why I came.
And that you've made it up again here, I learned for the first time only yesterday on the train, from one of your former friends, Zalyozhev, if you want to know.
I had a purpose in coming here: I wanted finally to persuade her to go abroad, to restore her health; she's very upset in body and in soul, in her head especially, and, in my opinion, she has great need to be cared for.
I didn't want to go abroad with her myself, but I had a view to arranging it without myself.
I'm telling you the real truth.
If it's completely true that things have been made up again between you, I won't even allow her a glimpse of me, and I'll never come to see you either.
You know I'm not deceiving you, because I've always been candid with you.
I've never concealed my thoughts about it from you, and I've always said that marrying you means inevitable ruin for her.
It also means ruin for you . . . perhaps even more than for her.
If you parted again, I would be very glad; but I have no intention of intruding or interfering with you.
So be at peace and don't suspect me.
And you know for yourself whether I was ever your real rival, even when she ran away from you to me.
You're laughing now—I know at what.
Yes, we lived separately there, and in different towns, and you know it all for certain.
I explained to you before that I love her 'not with love, but with pity.'
I think I defined it precisely.
You told me then that you understood these words of mine; is it true? did you understand?
See how hatefully you look at me!
I've come to bring you peace, because you, too, are dear to me.
I love you very much, Parfyon.
And now I'll go and never come again.
Farewell."
The prince stood up.
"Stay with me a little," Parfyon said quietly, without getting up from his place and leaning his head on his right hand, "I haven't seen you for a long time."
The prince sat down.
They both fell silent again.
"When you're not in front of me, I immediately feel spite for you, Lev Nikolaevich.
In these three months that I haven't seen you, I've felt spiteful towards you every minute, by God.
So that I could have up and poisoned you with something!
That's how it is.
Now you haven't sat with me a quarter of an hour, and all my spite is gone, and I love you again like before.
Stay with me a little ..."
"When I'm with you, you trust me, and when I'm gone, you immediately stop trusting me and suspect me again.
You're like your father!" the prince said with a friendly smile, trying to conceal his emotion.
"I trust your voice when I'm with you.
I know we'll never be equals, you and me . . ."
"Why did you add that?
And now you're irritated again," said the prince, marveling at Rogozhin.
"But here, brother, nobody's asking our opinion," the other replied, "it got decided without us.
And we love differently, too, I mean there's difference in everything," he went on quietly, after a pause.
"You say you love her with pity.
I've got no such pity for her in me.
And she hates me more than anything.
I dream about her every night now: that she's laughing at me with another man.
So it is, brother.
She's going to marry me, and yet she forgets even to think about me, as if she's changing a shoe.
Believe it or not, I haven't seen her for five days, because I don't dare go to her. She'll ask, 'To what do I owe the honor?'