He dared not move then in case he woke her, and he sat very quietly, looking lazily into the fire and enjoying his happiness.
"Had a nice little nap?" he smiled, when she woke.
"I've not been sleeping," she answered. "I only just closed my eyes."
She would never acknowledge that she had been asleep.
She had a phlegmatic temperament, and her condition did not seriously inconvenience her.
She took a lot of trouble about her health and accepted the advice of anyone who chose to offer it.
She went for a 'constitutional' every morning that it was fine and remained out a definite time.
When it was not too cold she sat in St. James' Park.
But the rest of the day she spent quite happily on her sofa, reading one novel after another or chatting with the landlady; she had an inexhaustible interest in gossip, and told Philip with abundant detail the history of the landlady, of the lodgers on the drawing-room floor, and of the people who lived in the next house on either side.
Now and then she was seized with panic; she poured out her fears to Philip about the pain of the confinement and was in terror lest she should die; she gave him a full account of the confinements of the landlady and of the lady on the drawing-room floor (Mildred did not know her;
"I'm one to keep myself to myself," she said, "I'm not one to go about with anybody.") and she narrated details with a queer mixture of horror and gusto; but for the most part she looked forward to the occurrence with equanimity.
"After all, I'm not the first one to have a baby, am I?
And the doctor says I shan't have any trouble.
You see, it isn't as if I wasn't well made."
Mrs. Owen, the owner of the house she was going to when her time came, had recommended a doctor, and Mildred saw him once a week.
He was to charge fifteen guineas.
"Of course I could have got it done cheaper, but Mrs. Owen strongly recommended him, and I thought it wasn't worth while to spoil the ship for a coat of tar."
"If you feel happy and comfortable I don't mind a bit about the expense," said Philip.
She accepted all that Philip did for her as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and on his side he loved to spend money on her: each five-pound note he gave her caused him a little thrill of happiness and pride; he gave her a good many, for she was not economical.
"I don't know where the money goes to," she said herself, "it seems to slip through my fingers like water."
"It doesn't matter," said Philip. "I'm so glad to be able to do anything I can for you."
She could not sew well and so did not make the necessary things for the baby; she told Philip it was much cheaper in the end to buy them.
Philip had lately sold one of the mortgages in which his money had been put; and now, with five hundred pounds in the bank waiting to be invested in something that could be more easily realised, he felt himself uncommonly well-to-do.
They talked often of the future.
Philip was anxious that Mildred should keep the child with her, but she refused: she had her living to earn, and it would be more easy to do this if she had not also to look after a baby.
Her plan was to get back into one of the shops of the company for which she had worked before, and the child could be put with some decent woman in the country.
"I can find someone who'll look after it well for seven and sixpence a week.
It'll be better for the baby and better for me."
It seemed callous to Philip, but when he tried to reason with her she pretended to think he was concerned with the expense.
"You needn't worry about that," she said. "I shan't ask YOU to pay for it."
"You know I don't care how much I pay."
At the bottom of her heart was the hope that the child would be still-born.
She did no more than hint it, but Philip saw that the thought was there.
He was shocked at first; and then, reasoning with himself, he was obliged to confess that for all concerned such an event was to be desired.
"It's all very fine to say this and that," Mildred remarked querulously, "but it's jolly difficult for a girl to earn her living by herself; it doesn't make it any easier when she's got a baby."
"Fortunately you've got me to fall back on," smiled Philip, taking her hand.
"You've been good to me, Philip."
"Oh, what rot!"
"You can't say I didn't offer anything in return for what you've done."
"Good heavens, I don't want a return.
If I've done anything for you, I've done it because I love you.
You owe me nothing.
I don't want you to do anything unless you love me."
He was a little horrified by her feeling that her body was a commodity which she could deliver indifferently as an acknowledgment for services rendered.
"But I do want to, Philip.
You've been so good to me."
"Well, it won't hurt for waiting.
When you're all right again we'll go for our little honeymoon."
"You are naughty," she said, smiling.
Mildred expected to be confined early in March, and as soon as she was well enough she was to go to the seaside for a fortnight: that would give Philip a chance to work without interruption for his examination; after that came the Easter holidays, and they had arranged to go to Paris together.