'Katy, you come home with me at once.
Put on your things.
'All these happenings irritate me very much,' he said a moment later in an apologetic tone.
'Before, I used to be completely calm.'
And when she went away to put on her things he said in a low voice to the lieutenant:
'This is not the first time she's behaved like this. Last year she went away with a probationary teacher and I found them as far away as Zagreb.
I used the opportunity to make a contract with the city brewery in Zagreb for 6oo sacks of hops.
'Yes, the south used to be a gold mine.
Our hops went as far as Constantinople.
Today we are half-ruined.
If the government limits production of beer at home it will deal us the final blow.'
And lighting the cigarette which had been offered to him he said in despair:
'Warsaw alone used to buy 2,370 sacks of hops.
The largest brewery there is the Augustinian.
Its representative used to visit me regularly each year.
It is enough to make one desperate.
It's a good thing I've got no children.'
This logical deduction from the yearly visit of the representative from the Augustinian brewery in Warsaw caused the lieutenant to give a gentle smile which the hop-merchant noticed and so he went on in his explanation:
'The Hungarian breweries in Sopron and in GrossKanisza bought from my firm for their export beer, which they exported as far as Alexandria, an average of a thousand sacks of hops a year.
Now they refuse to order anything on account of the blockade.
I offer them hops thirty per cent cheaper but they don't order a single sack. Stagnation, decay, misery and on top of that domestic troubles.'
The hop-merchant was silent for a moment, but his silence was interrupted by Mrs Katy, who was ready for the journey:
'What are we to do with my suitcases?'
'They'll come and fetch them, Katy,' said the hop-merchant with relief. He was glad in the end that everything had gone off without a row and a scandalous scene.
'If you want to do any more shopping, it's high time that we went.
The train goes at 2.20.'
Both took friendly leave of the lieutenant and the hop-merchant was so glad that it was all over that on his way to the hall he said to the lieutenant:
'If you should be wounded at the front, and God forbid that you should, come and convalesce with us.
We'll look after you with every care.'
Returning to the bedroom where Mrs Katy had dressed for the journey, the lieutenant found on the wash-basin four hundred crowns and the following letter: Lieutenant, you didn't stand up for me before that gorilla of a husband of mine, that prize blockhead.
You allowed him to drag me away with him like some chattel he had forgotten in your apartment.
And in doing so you took the liberty to observe that you had offered me hospitality.
I hope that I have not caused you more expense than the enclosed four hundred crowns, which please share with your servant.
Lieutenant Lukas stood for a moment with the letter in his hand and then slowly tore it in pieces. With a smile he looked at the money lying on the wash-basin and, seeing that when she was doing her hair before the mirror in her agitation she had forgotten her comb on the table, he placed it among his fetish relics.
Svejk returned in the afternoon.
He had gone to look for a stable pinscher for the lieutenant.
'Svejk,' said the lieutenant, 'you're in luck.
That lady who stayed with me has gone.
Her husband took her away.
And for all the services which you performed for her she left four hundred crowns on the washbasin.
You must thank her nicely or rather her husband, because it's his money which she took with her on the journey.
I shall dictate to you a letter.'
He dictated:
'Honoured Sir, Please convey my most cordial thanks for the four hundred crowns which madam, your wife, gave me for the services which I performed for her during her visit to Prague.
Everything which I did for her I did with pleasure and therefore I cannot accept this sum but send it ... 'Now then, just go on writing, Svejk.
What are you fidgeting about?
Where did I stop?'
'But send it .. .' said Svejk with a trembling voice full of tragic emotion.
'Good, then: ' ... but send it back with the assurance of my deepest respect.
Respectful greetings and a hand-kiss to madam.