And so I see you know all breeds of dogs very well, and I hope that if I ever should have a dog you'd look after it properly.
Which breed do you think is the best? I mean as a companion, you know?
I once had a stable pinscher, but I don't know .. .'
'In my opinion, sir, a stable pinscher is a very nice dog.
Not everyone likes them, it is true, because they have wire hair and very stiff whiskers on their muzzle, so that they look like a released convict.
They are so ugly that they're beautiful and at the same time they're very clever.
What's an idiotic Great St Bernard in comparison?
They're even cleverer than fox-terriers.
I knew one .. .'
Lieutenant Lukas looked at his watch and interrupted Svejk's conversation:
'It's getting late. I must have a good sleep.
Tomorrow I'm on duty again and you can spend the whole day finding a stable pinscher for me.'
He went to bed, and Svejk lay down on a sofa in the kitchen and read the newspaper which the lieutenant had brought with him from the barracks.
'Well, here you are then,' said Svejk to himself, following with interest the summary of the day's news.
'The sultan has decorated Kaiser Wilhelm with the War Medal, and I haven't even got the small silver medal yet.'
He thought for a moment and then jumped up:
'I nearly forgot ... ' He went into the bedroom of the lieutenant who was already fast asleep and woke him:
'Humbly report, sir, I've no orders about that cat.'
And the sleepy lieutenant, half-awake, turned over on the other side, and growled:
'Three days confined to barracks!' and went on sleeping.
Svejk went softly out of the room, dragged the wretched cat from underneath the sofa and said to her:
'You've got three days confined to barracks. Dismiss!'
And the Angora cat crawled back under the sofa again.
IV
Svejk was just starting to go and look for a stable pinscher when a young lady rang the bell and asked to speak to Lieutenant Lukas.
Beside her stood two heavy suitcases, and Svejk caught a glimpse of a porter's cap disappearing down the stairs.
'He's not at home,' said Svejk firmly, but the young lady was already in the hall and gave the categorical order to Svejk:
'Carry the suitcases in!'
'Not without the lieutenant's permission, madam,' said Svejk.
'The lieutenant gave express orders that I must never do anything without his permission.'
'You're dotty,' the young lady cried.
'I've come to stay with him.'
'I have no information at all about that,' answered Svejk.
'The lieutenant is on duty today. He won't be back before night and I've had orders to go and find him a stable pinscher.
I know nothing about any suitcases or any lady.
Now I'm going to lock up the apartment and I'd be glad if you would kindly go away.
I've not been informed and so I can't leave in the apartment any strange person whom I don't know.
Once they left someone in the house of the pastry cook Belcicky in our street and he opened their wardrobe and ran away. 'I've nothing against you,' continued Svejk, when he noticed that the young lady was getting desperate and beginning to cry, 'but you definitely can't stay here, you must admit that, because the apartment has been put in my charge and I'm responsible for every little thing in it.
And so I must ask you again if you would very kindly spare yourself the effort.
Until I receive orders from the lieutenant I don't even know my own brother.
I'm sincerely sorry that I have to talk to you in this way, but in the army there's got to be order.'
In the meantime the young lady had pulled herself together a little. She took out of her bag a visiting card, wrote a few lines on it in pencil, pur it into a charming little envelope and said dejectedly:
'Take this to the lieutenant. Meanwhile I shall wait here for an answer.
Here's five crowns for your trouble.'
'That's not going to help,' answered Svejk, offended by the obstinacy of the unexpected guest.
'Keep those five crowns. They are here on the chair, and, if you like, come with me to the barracks and wait for me there. I'll deliver your letter and bring you the answer.
But I'm afraid that it's not possible for you to wait here.'
With these words he dragged the suitcases into the hall and rattling the keys like the turnkey of a castle said significantly at the door: 'We're locking up!'
The young lady went out dejectedly into the corridor.
Svejk shut the door and went ahead.