It contained secret instructions from the War Ministry.
For the duration of the war the War Ministry suspends all operative regulations concerning the administering of extreme unction to soldiers of the army and lays down the following regulations for army chaplains: §r.
At the front extreme unction is cancelled. §2.
Those who are seriously ill and wounded arc forbidden to go back to the base for extreme unction.
Army chaplains arc required at once to hand over such cases to the appropriate military authorities for further action. §J.
In army hospitals at the base extreme unction can be administered en masse on the basis of a certificate from the army doctors, provided it docs not entail difficulties for the appropriate military institutions. §4.
In exceptional cases the Military Hospitals Command at the base may allow individuals to receive extreme unction. §s.
Army chaplains are obliged, if called on by the Military Hospitals Command, to administer extreme unction to those designated by the Command.
After that the chaplain read once more the order informing him that the next day he must go to the army hospital at Charles Square to administer extreme unction to the seriously wounded.
'Listen, Svejk,' the chaplain called out, 'isn't this a bloody nuisance?
Just as if I was the only chaplain in the whole of Prague!
Why don't they send that pious priest who slept here the other day?
We've got to go and administer it at Charles Square.
I've already forgotten how to do it.'
'Then we'll buy a catechism, sir.
It'll be there,' said Svejk.
'It's a kind of Baedeker for spiritual pastors. In the Emmaus monastery a gardener's assistant, who worked there once, wanted to join the ranks of the lay brothers and get a cowl so as not to tear his clothes.
He had to buy a catechism and learn how to make the sign of the cross, who alone is preserved from original sin, what it means to have a clean conscience, and other trifles like that.
And after that he secretly flogged half the cucumbers from the monastery garden and left the monastery in disgrace.
When I met him he said:
"I could have flogged those cucumbers just as well without the catechism."
When Svejk brought the catechism, which he had purchased, the chaplain turned the pages in it and said:
'Look, extreme unction can only be administered by a priest and then only with oil which has been consecrated by a bishop.
So you see, Svejk, you yourself can't administer extreme unction.
Read out to me how one does it.'
Svejk read out:
'It's done like this: the priest anoints the sick man on all his senses, at the same time praying as follows:
"By this Holy Unction and by His Holy Mercy may God forgive thee for all the sins thou hast committed through thine eyes, thine ears, thy smell, thy taste, thy words, thy touch and thy gait." '
'I'd like to know, Svejk,' said the chaplain, 'how a man can sin with his touch.
Can you tell me?'
'In lots of ways, sir.
You can put your hands into someone else's pocket, or on the dance floor -well, you know what goes on there!'
'And by his gait, Svejk?'
'When he begins to limp so as to arouse people's pity.'
'And by his smell?'
'When he doesn't like stink or stinkers.'
'And his taste, Svejk?'
'When he has a taste for somebody.'
'And his words?'
'That goes together with ears. When someone chatters a lot and someone else listens to him.'
After these philosophical reflections the chaplain was silent and said:
'And so we need oil consecrated by a bishop.
Here's ten crowns. Go and buy a bottle.
Obviously they won't have this kind of oil at the military stores.'
Svejk setout on his journey in search of oil which had been consecrated by a bishop.
This errand was more difficult than looking for the water of life in Bozena Nemcova's fairy tales.
1 He went into various chemists and as soon as he said:
'Please, I want a bottle of oil consecrated by a bishop', they either burst out laughing or hid in a panic under the counter.
All this time Svejk's countenance was unusually solemn.
And so he decided to try his luck at surgeries.