And now again in his old age they've shot his uncle.
A chap needs iron nerves for that.
And then some drunken bastard starts to swear at him.
If the balloon went up today I'd go as a volunteer and serve His Imperial Majesty to my last drop of blood.'
Svejk took a deep draught of beer and continued: 'Do you really think His Imperial Majesty is going to put up with this sort of thing?
If so, you don't know him at all.
There'll have to be a war with the Turks.
"You killed my uncle and so I'll bash your jaw."
War is certain.
Serbia and Russia will help us in it.
There won't half be a blood bath.'
Svejk looked beautiful in this prophetic moment.
His simple face, smiling like a full moon, beamed with enthusiasm.
Everything was so clear to him.
'It may be,' he said, continuing his account of Austria's future, 'that if we have war with the Turks the Germans'll attack us, because the Germans and the Turks stick together.
You can't find bigger bastards anywhere.
But we can ally ourselves with France which has had a down on Germany ever since 1871. And then the balloon'll go up.
There'll be war. I won't say any more.'
Bretschneider stood up and said solemnly:
'You don't need to.
Just come along with me into the passage. I've got something to say to you there.'
Svejk followed the plain-clothes police officer into the passage where a little surprise awaited him. His drinking companion showed him his eaglet 1 and announced that he was arresting him and would take him at once to police headquarters.
Svejk tried to explain that the gentleman must be mistaken, that he was completely innocent and that he had not uttered a single word capable of offending anyone.
However, Bretschneider told him that he had in fact committed several criminal offences, including the crime of high treason.
Then they returned to the pub and Svejk said to Palivec:
'I've had five beers, a couple of frankfurters and a roll.
Now give me one more slivovice and I must go, because I'm under arrest.'
Bretschneider showed Palivec his eaglet, stared at him for a moment and then asked:
'Are you married?'
'I am.'
'And can Madam carry on the business for you during your absence?'
'She can.'
'Then it's all right, Mr Palivec,' said Bretschneider gaily.
'Call your wife here, give the business over to her, and in the evening we'll come for you.'
'Take it easy,' Svejk consoled him.
'I'm only going there for high treason.'
'But what am I going for?' moaned Palivec.
'After all, I've been so careful.'
Bretschneider smiled and said triumphantly:
'Because you said the flies shitted on His Imperial Majesty.
They'll certainly knock His Imperial Majesty out of your head there.'
And so Svejk left The Chalice under the escort of the plain-clothes police officer.
When they went out into the street his face lit up with its good-natured smile and he asked:
'Should I step down from the pavement?'
'What do you mean?'
'I thought as I'm under arrest I've no right to walk on the pavement.'
When they passed through the door of police headquarters Svejk said:
'Well, the time passed very pleasantly for us there.
Do you often go to The Chalice ?
And while they were escorting Svejk to the reception office Palivec at The Chalice handed over the running of the pub to his weeping wife, consoling her in his own inimitable way: