He was given money at all three places.
Having acquitted himself honourably on his expedition and brandishing on return the three hundred crowns, the chaplain, who had by this time taken a bath and put on clean clothes, was very surprised.
'I took the whole lot at one go,' said Svejk, 'so that we shouldn't have to worry our heads about money again tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
It went pretty smoothly, but I had to go on my knees to Captain Snabl.
He's a real swine.
But when I told him that we have to pay alimony ...
'Alimony?' the chaplain repeated in horror.
'Yes, alimony, sir, compensation for the women, you know.
You told me that I should think up something and I couldn't hit on anything else.
Where I come from, a cobbler paid alimony to five different girls.
He was quite desperate about it and had to go and borrow money too.
But everybody was ready to believe that he was in a frightful situation.
They asked me what the girl was like and I said she was very pretty and not yet fifteen.
And so they wanted her address.'
'You certainly made a nice mess of it, Svejk,' sighed the chaplain and began to walk up and down his room.
'That's another nice scandal,' he said, clutching his head.
'I've got a terrible headache.'
'I gave them the address of an old, deaf lady in the street where I live,' explained Svejk.
'I wanted to do the thing properly, because an order is an order.
I wouldn't let myself be fobbed off, and I had to think up something.
And now they're waiting in the hall for the piano.
I brought them here, so that they could take it away to the pawnshop, sir.
It won't be a bad thing when that piano's gone.
There will be more room here and we shall have more money altogether. And we shall have peace for a day or two.
And if the landlord asks what we're going to do with the piano, I'll say that there are strings broken in it and that we've sent it to the factory for repair.
I've already told the concierge so that she won't think it strange when they take away the piano and load it on the van. And I also have a purchaser for the sofa.
He's a friend of mine, a dealer in second-hand furniture, and he's coming here this afternoon.
A leather sofa fetches a good price today.'
'Is that all you've done, Svejk?' asked the chaplain, continuing to clutch his head and looking desperate.
'Humbly report, sir, instead of two bottles of orechovka which Captain Snabl buys, I've brought five so that we can have something in reserve to drink. Can they come and take the piano before they shut the pawnshop?'
The chaplain waved his hand hopelessly and a few minutes later they were already loading the piano on to the van.
When Svejk returned from the pawnshop, he found the chaplain sitting in front of an open bottle of orechovka and swearing, because the cutlet he had got for lunch had been underdone.
He was again half-seas over.
He declared to Svejk that from tomorrow he would lead a new life. Drinking alcohol was vulgar materialism and one must live a spiritual life.
He spoke philosophically for about half an hour.
When he opened the third bottle, the furniture-dealer arrived, and the chaplain sold him the sofa for a song. He invited him to talk to him and was very discontented when the furniture-dealer excused himself on the grounds that he had still to go and buy a bedside table.
'It's a pity that I haven't got one,' said the chaplain reproachfully.
'A man can't think of everything.'
After the furniture-dealer had gone the chaplain started up a friendly conversation with Svejk, with whom he drank another bottle.
Part of his talk was taken up with his personal attitude to women and cards.
They were sitting for a long time.
And evening found them deep in friendly conversation.
In the night however their relationship changed.
The chaplain returned to his condition of the day before, mixed Svejk up with someone else and said to him:
'Oh no, please don't leave now!
Do you remember that red-haired cadet from the baggage train?'
This idyll continued until Svejk said to the chaplain:
'Look, I'm fed up. Now you'll climb into bed and snooze, do you understand?'
'I'm climbing in, my dear boy, I'm climbing in- why shouldn't I climb in?' babbled the chaplain.
'D'you remember how we were in the fifth form together and I used to do your Greek exercises for you ?