And with these words Svejk took leave of the crowd which accompanied him.
And somewhere from the dim ages of history the truth dawned upon Europe that the morrow would obliterate the plans of today.
6
Svejk Home Again after having Broken through the Vicious Circle
The spirit of alien authority pervaded the building of the police headquarters - an authority which was ascertaining how enthusiastic the population were for the war.
With the exception of a few people who were ready to admit that they were sons of a nation which had to bleed for interests completely alien to it, police headquarters presented the finest collection of bureaucratical beasts of prey, to whom gaols and gallows were the only means of defending the existence of the twisted clauses of the law.
They treated their victims with malicious affability, weighing every word carefully in advance.
'I am very sorry that you've fallen into our hands again,' said one of these black and yellow striped vultures, when they brought Svejk before him.
'We thought that you'd reform, but we've been disappointed.'
Svejk mutely nodded his head and assumed so innocent an expression that the black and yellow vulture looked at him inquiringly and said emphatically:
'Take that imbecile expression off your face.'
But he immediately went over to an amiable tone and continued: 'Of course it's very disagreeable for us to keep you in custody, and I can assure you that in my opinion your guilt can't be so enormous. With your absence of intelligence you must obviously have been led astray.
Tell me, Mr Svejk, who was it really who led you to commit such stupidities?'
Svejk coughed and replied:
'Begging your pardon, sir, I know nothing of any stupidities.'
'But wasn't it stupidity, Mr Svejk,' he said in an artificially paternal tone, 'when, according to the deposition of the police officer who brought you here, you caused a crowd of people to collect in front of the war proclamation which was posted up at the corner, and you incited people with shouts of:
"God Save Our Emperor Franz Joseph!
This war is already won!"?'
'I couldn't hang back,' declared Svejk, fixing his honest eyes on the eyes of the inquisitor.
'I was so angry when I saw how they were all reading this proclamation and none of them were expressing any joy.
There were no shouts of" God Save Our Emperor", no hurrahs, nothing at all, inspector.
It was just as if they didn't care.
An old soldier of the 91st regiment like me couldn't go on looking at it and so I shouted out those words.
And I believe that had you been in my place you'd have done exactly the same as I did.
If there's a war it must be won and people must call out" God Save Our Emperor."
No one will talk me out of that!'
Crushed and overcome the black and yellow wolf could not withstand the gaze of the pure and innocent lamb, Svejk. He lowered his gaze on to the official documents and said:
'I give you full marks for your enthusiasm, but if only it had been displayed in different circumstances!
After all you know very well that you were under police escort and that a patriotic pronouncement like that could and must have been regarded by the public as ironic rather than serious.'
'When a chap is being led under police escort,' answered Svejk, 'it's a very hard moment in his life.
And if a man, even in such a difficult moment as that, doesn't forget what he ought to do when there's a war on, I think he's not so bad after all.'
The black and yellow wolf growled and looked Svejk in the eyes once more.
Svejk parried with the innocent, gentle, modest and tender warmth of his gaze.
For a moment they both went on staring fixedly at each other.
'Go to hell, Svejk,' said the official at last,' and if you ever come here again, I shan't ask you any questions but march you straight off to the military court at Hradcany.
Do you understand?'
But before he could say Jack Robinson, Svejk had stepped towards him, kissed his hand and said:
'May the good Lord reward you for everything!
If at any time you should need a thoroughbred little dog, just ask me.
I deal in dogs.'
And so Svejk found himself at liberty again and on his way home.
He could not make up his mind whether he should stop first at The Chalice. Finally he decided he would and opened the door through which he had gone out some time ago under the escort of detective Bretschneider.
A deathly silence reigned in the bar.
A few guests sat there, including the sexton from St Apollinaire.
They looked very gloomy.
Behind the serving counter sat Mrs Palivec and stared dully at the beer taps.
'Well, here I am back again,' said Svejk gaily.
'May I have a glass of beer, please?
What's happened to Mr Palivec?
Is he home again too?'