"She reached for the bell-pull.
I burst into a roar of laughter.
"'Do not call any one,' I said.
'I shall leave you to finish your life in peace.
It would be a blundering kind of hatred that would murder you!
You need not fear violence of any kind; I have spent a whole night at the foot of your bed without——'
"'Monsieur——' she said, blushing; but after that first impulse of modesty that even the most hardened women must surely own, she flung a scornful glance at me, and said:
"'You must have been very cold.'
"'Do you think that I set such value on your beauty, madame,' I answered, guessing the thoughts that moved her.
'Your beautiful face is for me a promise of a soul yet more beautiful.
Madame, those to whom a woman is merely a woman can always purchase odalisques fit for the seraglio, and achieve their happiness at a small cost. But I aspired to something higher; I wanted the life of close communion of heart and heart with you that have no heart.
I know that now.
If you were to belong to another, I could kill him.
And yet, no; for you would love him, and his death might hurt you perhaps. What agony this is!' I cried.
"'If it is any comfort to you,' she retorted cheerfully, 'I can assure you that I shall never belong to any one——'
"'So you offer an affront to God Himself,' I interrupted; 'and you will be punished for it.
Some day you will lie upon your sofa suffering unheard-of ills, unable to endure the light or the slightest sound, condemned to live as it were in the tomb.
Then, when you seek the causes of those lingering and avenging torments, you will remember the woes that you distributed so lavishly upon your way.
You have sown curses, and hatred will be your reward.
We are the real judges, the executioners of a justice that reigns here below, which overrules the justice of man and the laws of God.'
"'No doubt it is very culpable in me not to love you,' she said, laughing.
'Am I to blame?
No. I do not love you; you are a man, that is sufficient.
I am happy by myself; why should I give up my way of living, a selfish way, if you will, for the caprices of a master?
Marriage is a sacrament by virtue of which each imparts nothing but vexations to the other.
Children, moreover, worry me.
Did I not faithfully warn you about my nature?
Why are you not satisfied to have my friendship?
I wish I could make you amends for all the troubles I have caused you, through not guessing the value of your poor five-franc pieces.
I appreciate the extent of your sacrifices; but your devotion and delicate tact can be repaid by love alone, and I care so little for you, that this scene has a disagreeable effect upon me.'
"'I am fully aware of my absurdity,' I said, unable to restrain my tears.
'Pardon me,' I went on, 'it was a delight to hear those cruel words you have just uttered, so well I love you.
O, if I could testify my love with every drop of blood in me!'
"'Men always repeat these classic formulas to us, more or less effectively,' she answered, still smiling.
'But it appears very difficult to die at our feet, for I see corpses of that kind about everywhere. It is twelve o'clock. Allow me to go to bed.'
"'And in two hours' time you will cry to yourself, Ah, mon Dieu!'
"'Like the day before yesterday! Yes,' she said,
'I was thinking of my stockbroker; I had forgotten to tell him to convert my five per cent stock into threes, and the three per cents had fallen during the day.'
"I looked at her, and my eyes glittered with anger.
Sometimes a crime may be a whole romance; I understood that just then.
She was so accustomed, no doubt, to the most impassioned declarations of this kind, that my words and my tears were forgotten already.
"'Would you marry a peer of France?' I demanded abruptly.
"'If he were a duke, I might.'
"I seized my hat and made her a bow.
"'Permit me to accompany you to the door,' she said, cutting irony in her tones, in the poise of her head, and in her gesture.
"'Madame——'
"'Monsieur?'
"'I shall never see you again.'
"'I hope not,' and she insolently inclined her head.
"'You wish to be a duchess?' I cried, excited by a sort of madness that her insolence roused in me.