There was something wrong with a God who would let a mother expose her own child to shame and ridicule just to save her own conscience.
"Father Hadley also said the scholarship to St. Mary's is still open if you want it, Jennie."
Suddenly, she began to laugh.
They refused to give her a good name, yet were willing to give her charity.
She couldn't reconcile the two attitudes.
Was one merely to compensate for the other?
Tom looked up at her in surprise.
"What are you laughing at, Jennie?"
Her laughter died and she looked at him, unsmiling.
"Nothing, Daddy," she said.
"I think you might as well give that lawyer a call."
"Then you'll take the thousand dollars?"
She nodded.
"And the scholarship to St. Mary's, too.
That way, you'll be able to live while I'm away."
"I won't accept your money."
"Yes, you will, Daddy," she said softly. "At least, until you find a job and get back on your feet again."
He felt the tears rush into his eyes and suddenly he pulled her to him.
"Do you love me, Jennie Bear?
Do you love your poor miserable failure of a father?"
"You know I do, Daddy," she said quickly, her head against his chest.
And they clung to each other, crying, there on the steps in the quiet, cool autumn twilight.
7.
The only sound for a moment was the slight hissing that came from the fluorescent lamps over the surgical area.
Dr. Grant's hands were quick and sure as he deftly lifted the perfectly normal appendix from the heavy-set, wealthy woman lying on the operating table.
His deep, masculine voice rumbled in the silence.
"That will do it," he said, sighing in satisfaction. "You can close her up now, Dr. Lobb."
He turned away from the table and one of the nurses quickly wiped the perspiration from his face as the surgical resident began to clamp the edges of the incision together.
Jennie glanced up at Sister M. Christopher.
If the senior nurse was aware that the appendix had not been infected, her dark eyes, visible over the face mask, gave no indication.
"Suture," Dr. Lobb grunted, holding out his hand.
Automatically Jennie gave it to him.
Then she didn't have time to look up for a few minutes. She was too busy. But she was aware that Sister Christopher was watching her.
It didn't make her nervous, as it had at first. But that was almost three years ago.
Next month was graduation.
Sister Christopher watched Jennie with approbation. This girl was one of the bright spots in her class.
Perhaps one girl in a hundred had a vocation for surgery the way Jennie had.
There were so many things needed and Jennie had them all.
The sight of blood didn't upset her, not even the first time she'd experienced it.
And Jennie was deft and sure in her actions. Quickly she'd developed an affinity between herself and the instruments, then between herself and the surgeons. Without the affinity, which permitted an unspoken form of communication between the doctor and the nurse, surgery could be dangerously delayed while instruments were fumbled back and forth.
The final important factor was strength.
No one ever quite realized how important it was for a surgical nurse to be strong.
To be able to stand for hours beside the quiet white table, even though your feet hurt and your thighs and back ached from that peculiar, slightly-leaning-forward position. To be able to feed the doctor that strength and reassure him with it, so that the chain of healing formed one unbroken line.
And the strength to be stoic when the chain was broken and the now forever silent patient was wheeled away; to stand there quietly and begin to scrub up again, sure that the chain would rebuild itself when a new patient was wheeled in.
Dr. Lobb looked up and nodded.
"Dressing." He held his white-gloved hand out over the neatly stitched incision.
Jennie was ready with the gauze packing as he lifted his hand.
Immediately, she covered the incision, while with her other hand, she lifted the strips of adhesive tape from the clip board at the side of the table.
She pressed the tape down firmly with her fingers, checking the bandage for smoothness and support, then lifted both hands to signify she had finished.
Sister Christopher nodded and the patient was quickly wrapped and transferred to another table by the assistants.