I was wondering whether to go upstairs or whether to follow Maxim to the library.
Frith took the coat to the flower-room.
I stood there, hesitating, biting my nails.
Frith came back again.
He looked surprised to see me still there.
"There is a good fire in the library now, Madam.'
'Thank you, Frith,' I said.
I walked slowly across the hall to the library.
I opened the door and went in.
Maxim was sitting in his chair, Jasper at his feet, the old dog in her basket.
Maxrim was not reading the paper, though it lay on the arm of the chair beside him.
I went and knelt down by his side and put my face close to his.
'Don't be angry with me any more,' I whispered.
He took my face in his hands, and looked down at me with his tired, strained eyes.
'I'm not angry with you,' he said.
'Yes,' I said.
'I've made you unhappy.
It's the same as making you angry.
You're all wounded and hurt and torn inside.
I can't bear to see you like this.
I love you so much.'
'Do you?' he said.
'Do you?'
He held me very tight, and his eyes questioned me, dark and uncertain, the eyes of a child in pain, a child in fear.
'What is it, darling?' I said.
'Why do you look like that?'
I heard the door open before he could answer, and I sank back on my heels, pretending to reach for a log to throw on the fire, while Frith came into the room followed by Robert, and the ritual of our tea began.
The performance of the day before was repeated, the placing of the table, the laying of the snow-white cloth, the putting down of cakes and crumpets, the silver kettle of hot water placed on its little flame, while Jasper, wagging his tail, his ears stretched back in anticipation, watched my face.
Five minutes must have passed before we were alone again, and when I looked at Maxim I saw the colour had come back into his face, the tired, lost look was gone, and he was reaching for a sandwich.
'Having all that crowd to lunch was the trouble,' he said.
'Poor old Beatrice always does rub me up the wrong way.
We used to scrap like dogs as children.
I'm so fond of her too, bless her.
Such a relief though that they don't live too near.
Which reminds me, we'll have to go over and see Granny some time.
Pour out my tea, sweetheart, and forgive me for being a bear to you.'
It was over then.
The episode was finished.
We must not speak of it again.
He smiled at me over his cup of tea, and then reached for the newspaper on the arm of his chair.
The smile was my reward.
Like a pat on the head to Jasper.
Good dog then, lie down, don't worry me any more.
I was Jasper again.
I was back where I had been before.
I took apiece of crumpet and divided it between the two dogs.
I did not want it myself, I was not hungry.
I felt very weary now, very tired in a dull, spent way.
I looked at Maxim but he was reading his paper, he had folded it over to another page.
My fingers were messy with the butter from the crumpet, and I felt in my pocket for a handkerchief.