I should have to stay here at Manderley day after day, night after night, waiting, as I was waiting now.
People like Colonel Julyan being kind.
People saying
'You must not be alone.
You must come to us.'
The telephone, the newspapers, the telephone again.
'No, Mrs de Winter can't see anyone.
Mrs de Winter has no story to give the County Chronicle.'
And another day.
And another day.
Weeks that would be blurred and non-existent.
Frank at last taking me to see Maxim.
He would look thin, queer, like people in hospital…
Other women had been through this.
Women I had read about in papers.
They sent letters to the Home Secretary and it was not any good.
The Home Secretary always said that justice must take its course.
Friends sent petitions too, everybody signed them, but the Home Secretary could never do anything.
And the ordinary people who read about it in the papers said why should the fellow get off, he murdered his wife, didn't he? What about the poor, murdered wife?
This sentimental business about abolishing the death penalty simply encourages crime.
This fellow ought to have thought about that before he killed his wife.
It's too late now.
He will have to hang for it, like any other murderer.
And serve him right too.
Let it be a warning to others.
I remember seeing a picture on the back of a paper once, of a little crowd collected outside a prison gate, and just after nine o'clock a policeman came and pinned a notice on the gate for the people to read.
The notice said something about the sentence being carried out.
'Sentence of death was carried out this morning at nine o'clock.
The Governor, the Prison Doctor, and the Sheriff of the County were present.'
Hanging was quick.
Hanging did not hurt.
It broke your neck at once.
No, it did not.
Someone said once it did not always work.
Someone who had known the Governor of a prison.
They put that bag over your head, and you stand on the little platform, and then the floor gives way beneath you.
It takes exactly three minutes to go from the cell to the moment you are hanged.
No, fifty seconds, someone said.
No, that's absurd. It could not be fifty seconds.
There's a little flight of steps down the side of the shed, down to the pit. The doctor goes down there to look.
They die instantly.
No, they don't.
The body moves for some time, the neck is not always broken.
Yes, but even so they don't feel anything.
Someone said they did. Someone who had a brother who was a prison doctor said it was not generally known, because it would be such a scandal, but they did not always die at once.
Their eyes were open, they stay open for quite a long time.
God, don't let me go on thinking about this.
Let me think about something else.
About other things.
About Mrs Van Hopper in America.