"Nothing," she repeated vehemently. "My heart sinks when I think how we've battened* on you all our lives and have given you nothing in return.
Not even a little affection.
I'm afraid you've not had a very happy life.
Won't you let me try to make up a little for all I've failed to do in the past?"
He frowned a little.
Her emotion embarrassed him.
"I don't know what you mean.
I've never had any complaint to make of you."
"Oh, father, I've been through so much, I've been so unhappy.
I'm not the Kitty I was when I went away.
I'm terribly weak, but I don't think I'm the filthy cad I was then.
Won't you give me a chance?
I have nobody but you in the world now.
Won't you let me try to make you love me?
Oh, father, I'm so lonely and so miserable; I want your love so badly."
She buried her face in his lap and cried as though her heart were breaking.
"Oh, my Kitty, my little Kitty," he murmured.
She looked up and put her arms round his neck.
"Oh, father, be kind to me.
Let us be kind to one another."
He kissed her, on the lips, as a lover might, and his cheeks were wet with her tears.
"Of course you shall come with me."
"Do you want me to?
Do you really want me to?"
"Yes."
"I'm so grateful to you."
"Oh, my dear, don't say things like that to me. It makes me feel quite awkward."
He took out his handkerchief and dried her eyes.
He smiled in a way that she had never seen him smile before.
Once more she threw her arms round his neck.
"We'll have such a lark, father dear.
You don't know what fun we're going to have together."
"You haven't forgotten that you're going to have a baby."
"I'm glad she'll be born out there within sound of the sea and under a wide blue sky."
"Have you already made up your mind about the sex?" he murmured, with his thin, dry smile.
"I want a girl because I want to bring her up so that she shan't make the mistakes I've made.
When I look back upon the girl I was I hate myself.
But I never had a chance.
I'm going to bring up my daughter so that she's free and can stand on her own feet.
I'm not going to bring a child into the world, and love her, and bring her up, just so that some man may want to sleep with her so much that he's willing to provide her with board and lodging for the rest of her life."
She felt her father stiffen.
He had never spoken of such things and it shocked him to hear these words in his daughter's mouth.
"Let me be frank just this once, father.
I've been foolish and wicked and hatefull.
I've been terribly punished.
I'm determined to save my daughter from all that.
I want her to be fearless and frank. I want her to be a person, independent of others because she is possessed to herself, and I want her to take life like a free man and make a better job of it than I have."
"Why, my love, you talk as though you were fifty.
You've got all your life before you.
You mustn't be downhearted."