All at once she began to weep like a child.
“I should like to get away from here, sir.
I am cold, I am afraid, and there are creatures which crawl over my body.”
“Well, follow me.”
So saying, the priest took her arm.
The unhappy girl was frozen to her very soul. Yet that hand produced an impression of cold upon her.
“Oh!” she murmured, “‘tis the icy hand of death.
Who are you?”
The priest threw back his cowl; she looked.
It was the sinister visage which had so long pursued her; that demon’s head which had appeared at la Falourdel’s, above the head of her adored Phoebus; that eye which she last had seen glittering beside a dagger.
This apparition, always so fatal for her, and which had thus driven her on from misfortune to misfortune, even to torture, roused her from her stupor.
It seemed to her that the sort of veil which had lain thick upon her memory was rent away.
All the details of her melancholy adventure, from the nocturnal scene at la Falourdel’s to her condemnation to the Tournelle, recurred to her memory, no longer vague and confused as heretofore, but distinct, harsh, clear, palpitating, terrible.
These souvenirs, half effaced and almost obliterated by excess of suffering, were revived by the sombre figure which stood before her, as the approach of fire causes letters traced upon white paper with invisible ink, to start out perfectly fresh.
It seemed to her that all the wounds of her heart opened and bled simultaneously.
“Hah!” she cried, with her hands on her eyes, and a convulsive trembling, “‘tis the priest!”
Then she dropped her arms in discouragement, and remained seated, with lowered head, eyes fixed on the ground, mute and still trembling.
The priest gazed at her with the eye of a hawk which has long been soaring in a circle from the heights of heaven over a poor lark cowering in the wheat, and has long been silently contracting the formidable circles of his flight, and has suddenly swooped down upon his prey like a flash of lightning, and holds it panting in his talons.
She began to murmur in a low voice,—
“Finish! finish! the last blow!” and she drew her head down in terror between her shoulders, like the lamb awaiting the blow of the butcher’s axe.
“So I inspire you with horror?” he said at length.
She made no reply.
“Do I inspire you with horror?” he repeated.
Her lips contracted, as though with a smile.
“Yes,” said she, “the headsman scoffs at the condemned.
Here he has been pursuing me, threatening me, terrifying me for months!
Had it not been for him, my God, how happy it should have been!
It was he who cast me into this abyss!
Oh heavens! it was he who killed him! my Phoebus!” Here, bursting into sobs, and raising her eyes to the priest,— “Oh! wretch, who are you?
What have I done to you?
Do you then, hate me so?
Alas! what have you against me?”
“I love thee!” cried the priest.
Her tears suddenly ceased, she gazed at him with the look of an idiot.
He had fallen on his knees and was devouring her with eyes of flame.
“Dost thou understand?
I love thee!” he cried again.
“What love!” said the unhappy girl with a shudder.
He resumed,— “The love of a damned soul.”
Both remained silent for several minutes, crushed beneath the weight of their emotions; he maddened, she stupefied.
“Listen,” said the priest at last, and a singular calm had come over him; “you shall know all I am about to tell you that which I have hitherto hardly dared to say to myself, when furtively interrogating my conscience at those deep hours of the night when it is so dark that it seems as though God no longer saw us.
Listen.
Before I knew you, young girl, I was happy.”
“So was I!” she sighed feebly.
“Do not interrupt me.
Yes, I was happy, at least I believed myself to be so.
I was pure, my soul was filled with limpid light.
No head was raised more proudly and more radiantly than mine.
Priests consulted me on chastity; doctors, on doctrines.
Yes, science was all in all to me; it was a sister to me, and a sister sufficed.