I found a coin and gave it to the little girl.
A quarter.
"Goodbye, sister," I said.
Then I ran.
I ran fast, not looking back.
Just before the road curved away I looked back.
She stood in the road, a small figure clasping the loaf of bread to her filthv little dress, her eyes still and black and unwinking I ran on
A lane turned from the road.
I entered it and after a while I slowed to a fast walk.
The lane went between back premises-- unpainted houses with more of those gay and startling colored garments on lines, a barn broken-backed, decaying quietly among rank orchard trees, unpruned and weed-choked, pink and white and murmurous with sunlight and with bees.
I looked back.
The entrance to the lane was empty.
I slowed still more, my shadow pacing me, dragging its head through the weeds that hid the fence.
The lane went back to a barred gate, became defunctive in grass, a mere path scarred quietly into new grass.
I climbed the gate into a woodlot and crossed it and came to another wall and followed that one, my shadow behind me now.
There were vines and creepers where at home would be honeysuckle.
Coming and coming especially in the dusk when it rained, getting honeysuckle all mixed up in it as though it were not enough without that, not unbearable enough.
What did you let him for kiss kiss
I didn't let him I made him watching me getting mad What do you think of that?
Red print of my hand coming up through her face like turning a light on under your hand her eyes going bright
It's not for kissing I slapped you.
Girl's elbows at fifteen Father said you swallow like you had a fishbone in your throat what's the matter with you and Caddy across the table not to look at me. It's for letting it be some darn town squirt I slapped you you will will you now I guess you say calf rope.
My red hand coming up out of her face.
What do you think of that scouring her head into the. Grass sticks cries-crossed into the flesh tingling scouring her head.
Say calf rope say it
I didn't kiss a dirty girl like Natalie anyway The wall went into shadow, and then my shadow, I had tricked it again.
I had forgot about the river curving along the road.
I climbed the wall.
And then she watched me jump down, holding the loaf against her dress.
I stood in the weeds and we looked at one another for a while.
"Why didn't you tell me you lived out this way, sister?" The loaf was wearing slowly out of the paper; already it needed a new one. "Well, come on then and show me the house." not a dirty girl like Natalie.
It was raining we could hear it on the roof, sighing through the high sweet emptiness of the barn.
There? touching her
Not there
There? not raining hard but we couldn't hear anything but the roof and if it was my blood or her blood
She pushed me down the ladder and ran off and left me Caddy did
Was it there it hurt you when Caddy did ran off was it there
Oh She walked just under my elbow, the top of her patent leather head, the loaf fraying out of the newspaper.
"If you dont get home pretty soon you're going to wear that loaf out.
And then what'll your mamma say?"
I bet I can lift you up
You cant I'm too heavy
Did Caddy go away did she go to the house you cant see the barn from our house did you ever try to see the barn from
It was her fault she pushed me she ran away
I can lift you up see how I can
Oh her blood or my blood Oh We went on in the thin dust, our feet silent as rubber in the thin dust where pencils of sun slanted in the trees.
And I could feel water again running swift and peaceful in the secret shade.
"You live a long way, dont you.
You're mighty smart to go this far to town by yourself."
It's like dancing sitting down did you ever dance sitting down?