William Wilkie Collins Fullscreen New Magdalene (1873)

Pause

"You must think me a sad coward, even for a woman."

He shook his head.

"I am far from thinking that," he replied.

"No courage could have sustained the shock which fell on you.

I don't wonder that you fainted.

I don't wonder that you have been ill."

She paused in rolling up the ball of wool.

What did those words of unexpected sympathy mean?

Was he laying a trap for her?

Urged by that serious doubt, she questioned him more boldly.

"Horace tells me you have been abroad," she said.

"Did you enjoy your holiday?"

"It was no holiday.

I went abroad because I thought it right to make certain inquiries—" He stopped there, unwilling to return to a subject that was painful to her.

Her voice sank, her fingers trembled round the ball of wool; but she managed to go on.

"Did you arrive at any results?" she asked.

"At no results worth mentioning."

The caution of that reply renewed her worst suspicions of him.

In sheer despair, she spoke out plainly.

"I want to know your opinion—" she began.

"Gently!" said Julian.

"You are entangling the wool again."

"I want to know your opinion of the person who so terribly frightened me.

Do you think her—"

"Do I think her—what?"

"Do you think her an adventuress?"

(As she said those words the branches of a shrub in the conservatory were noiselessly parted by a hand in a black glove.

The face of Grace Roseberry appeared dimly behind the leaves.

Undiscovered, she had escaped from the billiard-room, and had stolen her way into the conservatory as the safer hiding-place of the two.

Behind the shrub she could see as well as listen.

Behind the shrub she waited as patiently as ever.)

"I take a more merciful view," Julian answered. "I believe she is acting under a delusion.

I don't blame her: I pity her."

"You pity her?"

As Mercy repeated the words, she tore off Julian's hands the last few lengths of wool left, and threw the imperfectly wound skein back into the basket.

"Does that mean," she resumed, abruptly, "that you believe her?"

Julian rose from his seat, and looked at Mercy in astonishment.

"Good heavens, Miss Roseberry! what put such an idea as that into your head?"

"I am little better than a stranger to you," she rejoined, with an effort to assume a jesting tone. "You met that person before you met with me.

It is not so very far from pitying her to believing her.

How could I feel sure that you might not suspect me?"

"Suspect you!" he exclaimed.

"You don't know how you distress, how you shock me.

Suspect you!

The bare idea of it never entered my mind.

The man doesn't live who trusts you more implicitly, who believes in you more devotedly, than I do."

His eyes, his voice, his manner, all told her that those words came from the heart.

She contrasted his generous confidence in her (the confidence of which she was unworthy) with her ungracious distrust of him.

Not only had she wronged Grace Roseberry—she had wronged Julian Gray.

Could she deceive him as she had deceived the others?