Well, good night, I said and hurried along to my room.
I fussed around a bit in my room before undressing.
Washed out some handkerchiefs and a pair of wash-leather gloves and wrote up my diary.
I just looked out of my door again before I really started to get ready for bed.
The lights were still on in the drawing-office and in the south building.
I suppose Dr Leidner was still up and working in his office.
I wondered whether I ought to go and say goodnight to him.
I hesitated about it I didnt want to seem officious.
He might be busy and not want to be disturbed.
In the end, however, a sort of uneasiness drove me on.
After all, it couldnt do any harm.
Id just say goodnight, ask if there was anything I could do and come away.
But Dr Leidner wasnt there.
The office itself was lit up but there was no one in it except Miss Johnson.
She had her head down on the table and was crying as though her heart would break.
It gave me quite a turn.
She was such a quiet, self-controlled woman.
It was pitiful to see her.
Whatever is it, my dear? I cried.
I put my arm round her and patted her.
Now, now, this wont do at allYou mustnt sit here crying all by yourself.
She didnt answer and I felt the dreadful shuddering sobs that were racking her.
Dont, my dear, dont, I said.
Take a hold on yourself.
Ill go and make you a cup of nice hot tea.
She raised her head and said: No, no, its all right, nurse.
Im being a fool.
Whats upset you, my dear? I asked.
She didnt answer at once, then she said: Its all too awful
Now dont start thinking of it, I told her.
Whats happened has happened and cant be mended.
Its no use fretting.
She sat up straight and began to pat her hair.
Im making rather a fool of myself, she said in her gruff voice.
Ive been clearing up and tidying the office.
Thought it was best to do something.
And then it all came over me suddenly
Yes, yes, I said hastily.
I know.
A nice strong cup of tea and a hot-water bottle in your bed is what you want, I said.
And she had them too. I didnt listen to any protests.
Thank you, nurse, she said when Id settled her in bed, and she was sipping her tea and the hot-water bottle was in.
Youre a nice kind sensible woman.
Its not often I make such a fool of myself.
Oh, anybodys liable to do that at a time like this, I said. What with one thing and another.
The strain and the shock and the police here, there and everywhere. Why, Im quite jumpy myself.
She said slowly in rather a queer voice: What you said in there is true.
Whats happened has happened and cant be mended
She was silent for a minute or two and then said rather oddly, I thought: She was never a nice woman!
Well, I didnt argue the point.