Mrs Leidner went to her room to rest as usual.
I settled her on her bed with plenty of pillows and her book, and was leaving the room when she called me back.
Dont go, nurse, theres something I want to say to you.
I came back into the room. Shut the door.
I obeyed.
She got up from the bed and began to walk up and down the room.
I could see that she was making up her mind to something and I didnt like to interrupt her. She was clearly in great indecision of mind.
At last she seemed to have nerved herself to the required point. She turned to me and said abruptly: Sit down.
I sat down by the table very quietly.
She began nervously: You must have wondered what all this is about?
I just nodded without saying anything.
Ive made up my mind to tell you everything!
I must tell someone or I shall go mad.
Well, I said, I think really it would be just as well.
Its not easy to know the best thing to do when ones kept in the dark.
She stopped in her uneasy walk and faced me.
Do you know what Im frightened of?
Some man, I said.
Yes but I didnt say whom I said what.
I waited.
She said: Im afraid of being killed!
Well, it was out now.
I wasnt going to show any particular concern.
She was near enough to hysterics as it was.
Dear me, I said. So thats it, is it?
Then she began to laugh.
She laughed and she laughed and the tears ran down her face.
The way you said that! she gasped. The way you said it
Now, now, I said. This wont do. I spoke sharply.
I pushed her into a chair, went over to the washstand and got a cold sponge and bathed her forehead and wrists.
No more nonsense, I said. Tell me calmly and sensibly all about it.
That stopped her.
She sat up and spoke in her natural voice.
Youre a treasure, nurse, she said.
You make me feel as though Im six.
Im going to tell you.
Thats right, I said.
Take your time and dont hurry.
She began to speak, slowly and deliberately.
When I was a girl of twenty I married. A young man in one of our State departments.
It was in 1918.
I know, I said.
Mrs Mercado told me.
He was killed in the war.
But Mrs Leidner shook her head.
Thats what she thinks.
Thats what everybody thinks.
The truth is something different.
I was a queer patriotic, enthusiastic girl, nurse, full of idealism.
When Id been married a few months I discovered by a quite unforeseeable accident that my husband was a spy in German pay.