He had caught sight of me as I passed by, and was begging for a little water. That’s all.
We were under the bridge, in the dark.
He kept on snatching at my wrists; there was no getting rid of him.
I dashed into my berth, grabbed my water-bottle, and thrust it into his hands.
He vanished.
I didn’t find out till then how much I was in want of a drink myself.”
He leaned on one elbow with a hand over his eyes.
‘I felt a creepy sensation all down my backbone; there was something peculiar in all this.
The fingers of the hand that shaded his brow trembled slightly.
He broke the short silence.
‘“These things happen only once to a man and . . . Ah! well!
When I got on the bridge at last the beggars were getting one of the boats off the chocks.
A boat!
I was running up the ladder when a heavy blow fell on my shoulder, just missing my head.
It didn’t stop me, and the chief engineer—they had got him out of his bunk by then—raised the boat-stretcher again.
Somehow I had no mind to be surprised at anything.
All this seemed natural—and awful—and awful.
I dodged that miserable maniac, lifted him off the deck as though he had been a little child, and he started whispering in my arms:
‘Don’t! don’t!
I thought you were one of them niggers.’
I flung him away, he skidded along the bridge and knocked the legs from under the little chap—the second.
The skipper, busy about the boat, looked round and came at me head down, growling like a wild beast.
I flinched no more than a stone.
I was as solid standing there as this,” he tapped lightly with his knuckles the wall beside his chair.
“It was as though I had heard it all, seen it all, gone through it all twenty times already.
I wasn’t afraid of them.
I drew back my fist and he stopped short, muttering—
‘“‘Ah! it’s you.
Lend a hand quick.’
‘“That’s what he said.
Quick!
As if anybody could be quick enough.
‘Aren’t you going to do something?’ I asked.
‘Yes.
Clear out,’ he snarled over his shoulder.
‘“I don’t think I understood then what he meant.
The other two had picked themselves up by that time, and they rushed together to the boat.
They tramped, they wheezed, they shoved, they cursed the boat, the ship, each other—cursed me.
All in mutters.
I didn’t move, I didn’t speak.
I watched the slant of the ship.
She was as still as if landed on the blocks in a dry dock—only she was like this,” He held up his hand, palm under, the tips of the fingers inclined downwards.
“Like this,” he repeated. “I could see the line of the horizon before me, as clear as a bell, above her stem-head; I could see the water far off there black and sparkling, and still—still as a-pond, deadly still, more still than ever sea was before—more still than I could bear to look at. Have you watched a ship floating head down, checked in sinking by a sheet of old iron too rotten to stand being shored up?
Have you?
Oh yes, shored up?
I thought of that—I thought of every mortal thing; but can you shore up a bulkhead in five minutes—or in fifty for that matter?
Where was I going to get men that would go down below?
And the timber—the timber!
Would you have had the courage to swing the maul for the first blow if you had seen that bulkhead?
Don’t say you would: you had not seen it; nobody would.