Listen carefully.
Do you hear it?
Swell.
The new courthouse will be built on yonder hill, the undertaker and the village bakery will occupy handsome edifices of pressed brick just above you.
Oyez, oyez, oyez.
What am I offered?
What am I offered?
Own your own home in beautiful Homewood, within a cannonshot of all railway, automobile, and airplane connections.
Running water abounds within a Washingtonian stone’s throw and in all the pipes.
Our caravans meet all trains.
Gentlemen, here’s your chance to make a fortune.
The ground is rich in mineral resources — gold, silver, copper, iron, bituminous coal and oil, will be found in large quantities below the roots of all the trees.”
“What about the bushes, Luke?” yelled Mr. Halloran, the dairy-lunch magnate.
“Down in the bushes, that is where she gushes,” Luke answered amid general tumult.
“All right, Major. You with the face.
What am I offered? What am I offered?”
When there was no sale, he greeted incoming tourists at the station-curbing with eloquent invitations to Dixieland, rich, persuasive, dominant above all the soliciting babel of the car-drivers, negro hotel-porters, and boarding-house husbands.
“I’ll give you a dollar apiece for every one you drum up,” said Eliza.
“O that’s all right.”
O modestly.
Generously.
“He’d give you the shirt off his back,” said Gant.
A fine boy.
As she cooled from her labors in the summer night, he brought her little boxes of ice-cream from town.
He was a hustler: he sold patent washboards, trick potato-peelers, and powdered cockroach-poison from house to house.
To the negroes he sold hair-oil guaranteed to straighten kinky hair, and religious lithographs, peopled with flying angels, white and black, and volant cherubs, black and white, sailing about the knees of an impartial and crucified Saviour, and subtitled
“God Loves Them Both.”
They sold like hot cakes.
Otherwise, he drove Gant’s car — a 1913 five-passenger Ford, purchase of an inspired hour of madness, occupant now of half Gant’s conversation, object of abuse, boast, and anathema.
It was before every one owned a car.
Gant was awed and terrified by his rash act, exalted at the splendor of his chariot, appalled at its expense.
Each bill for gasoline, repairs, or equipment brought a howl of anguish from him; a puncture, a breakdown, a minor disorder caused him to circle about in maddened strides, cursing, praying, weeping.
“I’ve never had a moment’s peace since I bought it,” he howled.
“Accursed and bloody monster that it is, it will not be content until it has sucked out my life-blood, sold the roof over my head, and sent me out to the pauper’s grave to perish.
Merciful God,” he wept, “it’s fearful, it’s awful, it’s cruel that I should be afflicted thus in my old age.”
Turning to his constrained and apologetic son abruptly, he said:
“How much is the bill?
Hey?” His eyes roved wildly in his head.
“D-d-d-don’t get excited, papa,” Luke answered soothingly, teetering from foot to foot, “it’s only $8.92.”
“Jesus God!” Gant screamed.
“I’m ruined.”
Sobbing in loud burlesque sniffles, he began his caged pacing.
But it was pleasant at dusk or in the cool summer nights, with Eliza or one of his daughters beside him, and a fragrant weed between his pallid lips, to hinge his long body into the back seat, and ride out into the fragrant countryside, or through the long dark streets of town.
At the approach of another car he cried out in loud alarm, by turns cursing and entreating his son to caution.
Luke drove nervously, erratically, wildly — his stammering impatient hands and knees communicated their uneven fidget to the flivver.
He cursed irritably, plunged in exacerbated fury at the brake, and burst out in an annoyed “tuh-tuh-tuh-tuh,” when the car stalled.
As the hour grew late, and the streets silent, his madness swelled in him.
Lipping the rim of a long hill street, tree-arched and leafy and shelving in even terraces, he would burst suddenly into insane laughter, bend over the wheel, and pull the throttle open, his idiot “whah-whahs” filling the darkness as Gant screamed curses at him.
Down through the night they tore at murderous speed, the boy laughing at curse and prayer alike as they shot past the blind menace of street-crossings.
“You Goddamned scoundrel!” Gant yelled.