William Faulkner Fullscreen Light in August (1932)

Pause

He did not look back.

Diminishing, his white shirt pulsing and fading in the moonshadows, he ran as completely out of the life of the horse as if it had never existed.

He passed the corner where he used to wait.

If he noticed, thought, at all, he must have said, My God how long.

How long ago that was. The street curved into the gravel road.

He had almost a mile yet to go, so he ran not fast but carefully, steadily, his face lowered a little as if he contemplated the spurned road beneath his feet, his elbows at his sides like a trained runner.

The road curved on, moonblanched, bordered at wide intervals by the small, random, new, terrible little houses in which people who came yesterday from nowhere and tomorrow will be gone wherenot, dwell on the edges of towns.

They were all dark save the one toward which he ran.

He reached the house and turned from the road, running, his feet measured and loud in the late silence.

Perhaps he could see already the waitress, in a dark dress for travelling, with her hat on and her bag packed, waiting. (How they were to go anywhere, by what means depart, likely he had never thought.) And perhaps Max and Maine too, likely undressed—Max coatless or maybe even in his undershirt, and Maine in the light blue kimono—the two of them bustling about in that loud, cheerful, seeing-someone-off way.

But actually he was not thinking at all, since he had never told the waitress to get ready to leave at all.

Perhaps he believed that he had told her, or that she should know, since his recent doings and his future plans must have seemed to him simple enough for anyone to understand.

Perhaps he even believed that he had told her he was going home in order to get money when she got into the car.

He ran onto the porch.

Heretofore, even during his heyday in the house, his impulse had been always to glide from the road and into the shadow of the porch and into the house itself where he was expected, as swiftly and inconspicuously as possible.

He knocked.

There was a light in her room, and another at the end of the hall, as he had expected; and voices from beyond the curtained windows too, several voices which he could discern to be intent rather than cheerful: that he expected too, thinking Perhaps they think I am not coming.

That damn horse.

That damn horse He knocked again, louder, putting his hand on the knob, shaking it, pressing his face against the curtained glass in the front door.

The voices ceased.

Then there was no sound whatever from within the house.

The two lights, the lighted shade to her room and the opaque curtain in the door, burned with a steady and unwavering glare, as if all the people in the house had suddenly died when he touched the knob.

He knocked again, with scarce interval between; he was still knocking when the door (no shadow had fallen upon the curtain and no step had approached beyond it) fled suddenly and silently from under his rapping hand.

He was already stepping across the threshold as if he were attached to the door, when Max emerged from behind it, blocking it.

He was completely dressed, even to the hat.

“Well, well, well,” he said.

His voice was not loud, and it was almost as if he had drawn Joe swiftly into the hall and shut the door and locked it before Joe knew that he was inside.

Yet his voice held again that ambiguous quality, that quality hearty and completely empty and completely without pleasure or mirth, like a shell, like something he carried before his face and watched Joe through it, which in the past had caused Joe to look at Max with something between puzzlement and anger.

“Here’s Romeo at last,” he said. “The Beale Street Playboy.”

Then he spoke a little louder, saying Romeo quite loud.

“Come in and meet the folks.”

Joe was already moving toward the door which he knew, very nearly running again, if he had ever actually stopped.

He was not listening to Max.

He had never heard of Beale Street, that three or four Memphis city blocks in comparison with which Harlem is a movie set.

Joe had not looked at anything.

Because suddenly he saw the blonde woman standing in the hall at the rear.

He had not seen her emerge into the hall at all, yet it was empty when he entered.

And then suddenly she was standing there.

She was dressed, in a dark skirt, and she held a hat in her hand.

And just beyond an open dark door beside him was a pile of luggage, several bags.

Perhaps he did not see them.

Or perhaps looking saw once, faster than thought, I didn’t think she would have that many. Perhaps he thought then for the first time that they had nothing to travel in, thinking How can I carry all those But he did not pause, already turning toward the door which he knew.

It was only as he put his hand on the door that he became aware of complete silence beyond it, a silence which he at eighteen knew that it would take more than one person to make.

But he did not pause; perhaps he was not even aware that the hall was empty again, that the blonde woman had vanished again without his having seen or heard her move.

He opened the door.

He was running now; that is, as a man might run far ahead of himself and his knowing in the act of stopping stock still.

The waitress sat on the bed as he had seen her sitting so many times.

She wore the dark dress and the hat, as he had expected, known.

She sat with her face lowered, not even looking at the door when it opened, a cigarette burning in one still hand that looked almost monstrous in its immobility against the dark dress.

And in the same instant he saw the second man.