He tormented himself with his conscience!
He told me everything, everything! He came every day and talked to me as his only friend.
I have the honour to be his only friend!" she cried suddenly with a sort of defiance, and her eyes flashed. "He had been twice to see Smerdyakov.
One day he came to me and said, 'If it was not my brother, but Smerdyakov committed the murder' (for the legend was circulating everywhere that Smerdyakov had done it), 'perhaps I too am guilty, for Smerdyakov knew I didn't like my father and perhaps believed that I desired my father's death.'
Then I brought out that letter and showed it him. He was entirely convinced that his brother had done it, and he was overwhelmed by it.
He couldn't endure the thought that his own brother was a parricide!
Only a week ago I saw that it was making him ill.
During the last few days he has talked incoherently in my presence.
I saw his mind was giving way.
He walked about, raving; he was seen muttering in the streets.
The doctor from Moscow, at my request, examined him the day before yesterday and told me that he was on the eve of brain fever- and all on his account, on account of this monster!
And last night he learnt that Smerdyakov was dead! It was such a shock that it drove him out of his mind... and all through this monster, all for the sake of saving the monster!"
Oh, of course, such an outpouring, such an avowal is only possible once in a lifetime- at the hour of death, for instance, on the way to the scaffold!
But it was in Katya's character, and it was such a moment in her life.
It was the same impetuous Katya who had thrown herself on the mercy of a young profligate to save her father; the same Katya who had just before, in her pride and chastity, sacrificed herself and her maidenly modesty before all these people, telling of Mitya's generous conduct, in the hope of softening his fate a little.
And now, again, she sacrificed herself; but this time it was for another, and perhaps only now- perhaps only at this moment- she felt and knew how dear that other was to her!
She had sacrificed herself in terror for him; conceiving all of a sudden that he had ruined himself by his confession that it was he who had committed the murder, not his brother, she had sacrificed herself to save him, to save his good name, his reputation!
And yet one terrible doubt occurred to one- was she lying in her description of her former relations with Mitya?- that was the question.
No, she had not intentionally slandered him when she cried that Mitya despised her for her bowing down to him!
She believed it herself. She had been firmly convinced, perhaps ever since that bow, that the simplehearted Mitya, who even then adored her, was laughing at her and despising her.
She had loved him with an hysterical, "lacerated" love only from pride, from wounded pride, and that love was not like love, but more like revenge.
Oh! perhaps that lacerated love would have grown into real love, perhaps Katya longed for nothing more than that, but Mitya's faithlessness had wounded her to the bottom of her heart, and her heart could not forgive him.
The moment of revenge had come upon her suddenly, and all that had been accumulating so long and so painfully in the offended woman's breast burst out all at once and unexpectedly.
She betrayed Mitya, but she betrayed herself, too.
And no sooner had she given full expression to her feelings than the tension of course was over and she was overwhelmed with shame.
Hysterics began again: she fell on the floor, sobbing and screaming.
She was carried out.
At that moment Grushenka, with a wail, rushed towards Mitya before they had time to prevent her.
"Mitya," she wailed, "your serpent has destroyed you!
There, she has shown you what she is!" she shouted to the judges, shaking with anger.
At a signal from the President they seized her and tried to remove her from the court.
She wouldn't allow it. She fought and struggled to get back to Mitya.
Mitya uttered a cry and struggled to get to her.
He was overpowered.
Yes, I think the ladies who came to see the spectacle must have been satisfied- the show had been a varied one.
Then I remember the Moscow doctor appeared on the scene.
I believe the President had previously sent the court usher to arrange for medical aid for Ivan.
The doctor announced to the court that the sick man was suffering from a dangerous attack of brain fever, and that he must be at once removed.
In answer to questions from the prosecutor and the counsel for the defence he said that the patient had come to him of his own accord the day before yesterday and that he had warned him that he had such an attack coming on, but he had not consented to be looked after.
"He was certainly not in a normal state of mind: he told me himself that he saw visions when he was awake, that he met several persons in the street, who were dead, and that Satan visited him every evening," said the doctor, in conclusion.
Having given his evidence, the celebrated doctor withdrew.
The letter produced by Katerina Ivanovna was added to the material proofs.
After some deliberation, the judges decided to proceed with the trial and to enter both the unexpected pieces of evidence (given by Ivan and Katerina Ivanovna) on the protocol.
But I will not detail the evidence of the other witnesses, who only repeated and confirmed what had been said before, though all with their characteristic peculiarities.
I repeat, all was brought together in the prosecutor's speech, which I shall quote immediately.
Everyone was excited, everyone was electrified by the late catastrophe, and all were awaiting the speeches for the prosecution and the defence with intense impatience.
Fetyukovitch was obviously shaken by Katerina Ivanovna's evidence.
But the prosecutor was triumphant.
When all the evidence had been taken, the court was adjourned for almost an hour.
I believe it was just eight o'clock when the President returned to his seat and our prosecutor, Ippolit Kirillovitch, began his speech.