He has an idea.
It's beyond me.
But he is silent.
I believe he is a Freemason.
I asked him, but he is silent.
I wanted to drink from the springs of his soul- he was silent.
But once he did drop a word."
"What did he say?" Alyosha took it up quickly.
"I said to him, 'Then everything is lawful, if it is so?'
He frowned.
'Fyodor Pavlovitch, our papa,' he said, 'was a pig, but his ideas were right enough.'
That was what he dropped.
That was all he said.
That was going one better than Rakitin."
"Yes," Alyosha assented bitterly. "When was he with you?"
"Of that later; now I must speak of something else.
I have said nothing about Ivan to you before.
I put it off to the last.
When my business here is over and the verdict has been given, then I'll tell you something. I'll tell you everything.
We've something tremendous on hand.... And you shall be my judge in it.
But don't begin about that now; be silent.
You talk of to-morrow, of the trial; but, would you believe it, I know nothing about it."
"Have you talked to the counsel?"
"What's the use of the counsel?
I told him all about it.
He's a soft, city-bred rogue- a Bernard!
But he doesn't believe me- not a bit of it.
Only imagine, he believes I did it. I see it.
'In that case,' I asked him, 'why have you come to defend me?'
Hang them all!
They've got a doctor down, too, want to prove I'm mad.
I won't have that!
Katerina Ivanovna wants to do her 'duty' to the end, whatever the strain!" Mitya smiled bitterly. "The cat!
Hard-hearted creature!
She knows that I said of her at Mokroe that she was a woman of 'great wrath.'
They repeated it.
Yes, the facts against me have grown numerous as the sands of the sea.
Grigory sticks to his point.
Grigory's honest, but a fool.
Many people are honest because they are fools: that's Rakitin's idea.
Grigory's my enemy.
And there are some people who are better as foes than friends.
I mean Katerina Ivanovna.
I am afraid, oh, I am afraid she will tell how she bowed to the ground after that four thousand.
She'll pay it back to the last farthing.
I don't want her sacrifice; they'll put me to shame at the trial.
I wonder how I can stand it.
Go to her, Alyosha, ask her not to speak of that in the court, can't you?
But damn it all, it doesn't matter! I shall get through somehow.
I don't pity her.