Well, I was pleased; I thought I had amused her and the fits would pass off, especially as I wanted to refuse to see Ivan Fyodorovitch anyway on account of his strange visits without my knowledge, and meant to ask him for an explanation.
But early this morning Lise waked up and flew into a passion with Yulia and, would you believe it, slapped her in the face.
That's monstrous; I am always polite to my servants.
And an hour later she was hugging Yulia's feet and kissing them.
She sent a message to me that she wasn't coming to me at all, and would never come and see me again, and when I dragged myself down to her, she rushed to kiss me, crying, and as she kissed me, she pushed me out of the room without saying a word, so I couldn't find out what was the matter.
Now, dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, I rest all my hopes on you, and, of course, my whole life is in your hands.
I simply beg you to go to Lise and find out everything from her, as you alone can, and come back and tell me- me, her mother, for you understand it will be the death of me, simply the death of me, if this goes on, or else I shall run away.
I can stand no more. I have patience; but I may lose patience, and then... then something awful will happen.
Ah, dear me! At last, Pyotr Ilyitch!" cried Madame Hohlakov, beaming all over as she saw Perhotin enter the room. "You are late, you are late!
Well, sit down, speak, put us out of suspense. What does the counsel say.
Where are you off to, Alexey Fyodorovitch?"
"To Lise."
"Oh, yes.
You won't forget, you won't forget what I asked you?
It's a question of life and death!
"Of course, I won't forget, if I can... but I am so late," muttered Alyosha, beating a hasty retreat.
"No, be sure, be sure to come in; don't say 'If you can.' I shall die if you don't," Madame Hohlakov called after him, but Alyosha had already left the room.
Chapter 3.
A Little Demon
GOING in to Lise, he found her half reclining in the invalid-chair, in which she had been wheeled when she was unable to walk.
She did not move to meet him, but her sharp, keen eyes were simply riveted on his face.
There was a feverish look in her eyes, her face was pale and yellow.
Alyosha was amazed at the change that had taken place in her in three days. She was positively thinner.
She did not hold out her hand to him.
He touched the thin, long fingers which lay motionless on her dress, then he sat down facing her, without a word.
"I know you are in a hurry to get to the prison," Lise said curtly, "and mamma's kept you there for hours; she's just been telling you about me and Yulia."
"How do you know?" asked Alyosha.
"I've been listening.
Why do you stare at me?
I want to listen and I do listen, there's no harm in that.
I don't apologise."
"You are upset about something?"
"On the contrary, I am very happy.
I've only just been reflecting for the thirtieth time what a good thing it is I refused you and shall not be your wife.
You are not fit to be a husband. If I were to marry you and give you a note to take to the man I loved after you, you'd take it and be sure to give it to him and bring an answer back, too.
If you were forty, you would still go on taking my love-letters for me."
She suddenly laughed.
"There is something spiteful and yet open-hearted about you," Alyosha smiled to her.
"The open-heartedness consists in my not being ashamed of myself with you.
What's more, I don't want to feel ashamed with you, just with you.
Alyosha, why is it I don't respect you?
I am very fond of you, but I don't respect you.
If I respected you, I shouldn't talk to you without shame, should I?"
"No."
"But do you believe that I am not ashamed with you?"
"No, I don't believe it."
Lise laughed nervously again; she spoke rapidly.
"I sent your brother, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, some sweets in prison.
Alyosha, you know, you are quite pretty!
I shall love you awfully for having so quickly allowed me not to love you."