"Why, why could nothing better have happened?" cried Lise, looking with great surprise at Alyosha.
"Because if he had taken the money, in an hour after getting home, he would be crying with mortification, that's just what would have happened.
And most likely he would have come to me early to-morrow, and perhaps have flung the notes at me and trampled upon them as he did just now.
But now he has gone home awfully proud and triumphant, though he knows he has 'ruined himself.'
So now nothing could be easier than to make him accept the two hundred roubles by to-morrow, for he has already vindicated his honour, tossed away the money, and trampled it under foot.... He couldn't know when he did it that I should bring it to him again to-morrow, and yet he is in terrible need of that money.
Though he is proud of himself now, yet even to-day he'll be thinking what a help he has lost.
He will think of it more than ever at night, will dream of it, and by to-morrow morning he may be ready to run to me to ask forgiveness.
It's just then that I'll appear.
'Here, you are a proud man,' I shall say: 'you have shown it; but now take the money and forgive us!'
And then he will take it!
Alyosha was carried away with joy as he uttered his last words,
"And then he will take it!"
Lise clapped her hands.
"Ah, that's true! I understand that perfectly now.
Ah, Alyosha, how do you know all this?
So young and yet he knows what's in the heart.... I should never have worked it out."
"The great thing now is to persuade him that he is on an equal footing with us, in spite of his taking money from us," Alyosha went on in his excitement, "and not only on an equal, but even on a higher footing."
"'On a higher footing' is charming, Alexey Fyodorovitch; but go on, go on!"
"You mean there isn't such an expression as 'on a higher footing'; but that doesn't matter because- "
"Oh, no, of course it doesn't matter.
Forgive me, Alyosha, dear.... You know, I scarcely respected you till now- that is I respected you but on an equal footing; but now I shall begin to respect you on a higher footing. Don't be angry, dear, at my joking," she put in at once, with strong feeling. "I am absurd and small, but you, you! Listen, Alexey Fyodorovitch. Isn't there in all our analysis- I mean your analysis... no, better call it ours- aren't we showing contempt for him, for that poor man- in analysing his soul like this, as it were, from above, eh?
In deciding so certainly that he will take the money?"
"No, Lise, it's not contempt," Alyosha answered, as though he had prepared himself for the question. "I was thinking of that on the way here.
How can it be contempt when we are all like him, when we are all just the same as he is?
For you know we are just the same, no better.
If we are better, we should have been just the same in his place.... I don't know about you, Lise, but I consider that I have a sordid soul in many ways, and his soul is not sordid; on the contrary, full of fine feeling.... No, Lise, I have no contempt for him.
Do you know, Lise, my elder told me once to care for most people exactly as one would for children, and for some of them as one would for the sick in hospitals."
"Ah, Alexey Fyodorovitch. dear, let us care for people as we would for the sick!"
"Let us, Lise; I am ready. Though I am not altogether ready in myself. I am sometimes very impatient and at other times I don't see things.
It's different with you."
"Ah, I don't believe it!
Alexey Fyodorovitch, how happy I am!"
"I am so glad you say so, Lise."
"Alexey Fyodorovitch, you are wonderfully good, but you are sometimes sort of formal.... And yet you are not a bit formal really.
Go to the door, open it gently, and see whether mamma is listening," said Lise, in a nervous, hurried whisper.
Alyosha went, opened the door, and reported that no one was listening.
"Come here, Alexey Fyodorovitch," Lise went on, flushing redder and redder. "Give me your hand- that's right.
I have to make a great confession. I didn't write to you yesterday in joke, but in earnest," and she hid her eyes with her hand.
It was evident that she was greatly ashamed of the confession.
Suddenly she snatched his hand and impulsively kissed it three times.
"Ah, Lise, what a good thing!" cried Alyosha joyfully. "You know, I was perfectly sure you were in earnest."
"Sure? Upon my word! She put aside his hand, but did not leave go of it, blushing hotly, and laughing a little happy laugh. "I kiss his hand and he says, 'What a good thing!'" But her reproach was undeserved. Alyosha, too, was greatly overcome.
"I should like to please you always, Lise, but don't know how to do it." he muttered, blushing too.
"Alyosha, dear, you are cold and rude.
Do you see?
He has chosen me as his wife and is quite settled about it.
He is sure I was in earnest. What a thing to say!
Why, that's impertinence- that's what it is."
"Why, was it wrong of me to feel sure?" Alyosha asked, laughing suddenly.
"Ah, Alyosha, on the contrary, it was delightfully right," cried Lise, looking tenderly and happily at him.