He did not know himself quite what it was, but he felt a largeness of feeling not altogether squared with intellect, or perhaps better yet, experience, which was worthy of any man's desire.
"This remarkable girl," he thought, seeing her clearly in his mind's eye.
Meditating as to what he should do, he returned to his hotel, and the room.
As he entered he was struck anew with her beauty, and with the irresistible appeal of her personality.
In the glow of the shaded lamp she seemed a figure of marvelous potentiality.
"Well," he said, endeavoring to appear calm,
"I have looked after your brother.
He is out."
She rose.
"Oh," she exclaimed, clasping her hands and stretching her arms out toward him.
There were tears of gratefulness in her eyes.
He saw them and stepped close to her.
"Jennie, for heaven's sake don't cry," he entreated.
"You angel!
You sister of mercy!
To think you should have to add tears to your other sacrifices."
He drew her to him, and then all the caution of years deserted him.
There was a sense both of need and of fulfilment in his mood.
At last, in spite of other losses, fate had brought him what he most desired—love, a woman whom he could love.
He took her in his arms, and kissed her again and again.
The English Jefferies has told us that it requires a hundred and fifty years to make a perfect maiden.
"From all enchanted things of earth and air, this preciousness has been drawn.
From the south wind that breathed a century and a half over the green wheat; from the perfume of the growing grasses waving over heavy-laden clover and laughing veronica, hiding the green finches, baffling the bee; from rose-lined hedge, woodbine, and cornflower, azure blue, where yellowing wheat stalks crowd up under the shadow of green firs.
All the devious brooklets' sweetness where the iris stays the sunlight; all the wild woods hold of beauty; all the broad hills of thyme and freedom thrice a hundred years repeated.
"A hundred years of cowslips, bluebells, violets; purple spring and golden autumn; sunshine, shower, and dewy mornings; the night immortal; all the rhythm of time unrolling.
A chronicle unwritten and past all power of writing; who shall preserve a record of the petals that fell from the roses a century ago?
The swallows to the house-tops three hundred—times think of that!
Thence she sprang, and the world yearns toward her beauty as to flowers that are past.
The loveliness of seventeen is centuries old. That is why passion is almost sad."
If you have understood and appreciated the beauty of harebells three hundred times repeated; if the quality of the roses, of the music, of the ruddy mornings and evenings of the world has ever touched your heart; if all beauty were passing, and you were given these things to hold in your arms before the world slipped away, would you give them up?
CHAPTER VIII
The significance of the material and spiritual changes which sometimes overtake us are not very clear at the time.
A sense of shock, a sense of danger, and then apparently we subside to old ways, but the change has come.
Never again, here or elsewhere, will we be the same.
Jennie pondering after the subtle emotional turn which her evening's sympathetic expedition had taken, was lost in a vague confusion of emotions.
She had no definite realization of what social and physical changes this new relationship to the Senator might entail.
She was not conscious as yet of that shock which the possibility of maternity, even under the most favorable conditions, must bring to the average woman.
Her present attitude was one of surprise, wonder, uncertainty; and at the same time she experienced a genuine feeling of quiet happiness.
Brander was a good man; now he was closer to her than ever.
He loved her.
Because of this new relationship a change in her social condition was to inevitably follow.
Life was to be radically different from now on—was different at this moment.
Brander assured her over and over of his enduring affection.
"I tell you, Jennie," he repeated, as she was leaving, "I don't want you to worry.
This emotion of mine got the best of me, but I'll marry you. I've been carried off my feet, but I'll make it up to you.
Go home and say nothing at all.
Caution your brother, if it isn't too late. Keep your own counsel, and I will marry you and take you away.
I can't do it right now.
I don't want to do it here.
But I'm going to Washington, and I'll send for you.