I often weep perhaps. I’m not ashamed to own it, just as I’m not ashamed to own that I once loved my child more than anything on earth.
All this seems to belie my conduct now.
You may say to me ‘If it’s so, if you are indifferent to the fate of her whom you no longer look on as a daughter, why do you interfere in what they are plotting there?’
I answer: in the first place that I don’t want to let that base and crafty man triumph, and secondly, from a common feeling of humanity.
If she’s no longer my daughter she’s a weak creature, defenceless and deceived, who is being still more deceived, that she may be utterly ruined.
I can’t meddle directly, but indirectly, by a duel, I can.
If I am killed or my blood is shed, surely she won’t step over our barrier, perhaps over my corpse, and stand at the altar beside the son of my murderer, like the daughter of that king (do you remember in the book you learnt to read out of?) who rode in her chariot over her father’s body?
And, besides, if it comes to a duel, our princes won’t care for the marriage themselves.
In short, I don’t want that marriage, and I’ll do everything I can to prevent it.
Do you understand me now?” “No. If you wish Natasha well, how can you make up your mind to hinder her marriage, that is, the one thing that can establish her good name?
She has all her life before her; she will have need of her good name.”
“She ought to spit on the opinion of the world. That’s how she ought to look at it.
She ought to realize that the greatest disgrace of all for her lies in that marriage, in being connected with those vile people, with that paltry society.
A noble pride – that should be her answer to the world.
Then perhaps I might consent to hold out a hand to her, and then we would see who dared cry shame on my child!”
Such desperate idealism amazed me.
But I saw at once that he was not himself and was speaking in anger.
“That’s too idealistic,” I answered, “and therefore cruel.
You’re demanding of her a strength which perhaps you did not give her at her birth.
Do you suppose that she is consenting to this marriage because she wants to be a princess?
Why, she’s in love; it’s passion; it’s fate.
You expect of her a contempt for public opinion while you bow down before it yourself!
The prince has insulted you, has publicly accused you of a base scheme to ally yourself with his princely house, and now you are reasoning that if she refuses them now after a formal offer of marriage from their side it will, of course, be the fullest and plainest refutation of the old calumny.
That’s what you will gain by it. You are deferring to the opinion of the prince himself, and you’re struggling to make him recognize his mistake.
You’re longing to turn him into derision, to revenge yourself on him, and for that you will sacrifice your daughter’s happiness.
Isn’t that egoism?”
The old man sat gloomy and frowning, and for a long time he answered not a word.
“You’re unjust to me, Vanya,” he said at last, and a tear glistened on his eyelashes. “I swear you are unjust. But let us leave that!
I can’t turn my heart inside out before you,” he went on, getting up and taking his hat. “One thing I will say – you spoke just now of my daughter’s happiness.
I have absolutely and literally no faith in that happiness. Besides which, the marriage will never come off, apart from my interference.”
“How so?
What makes you think so?
Perhaps you know something?” I cried with curiosity.
“No. I know nothing special.
But that cursed fox can never have brought himself to such a thing.
It’s all nonsense, all a trap.
I’m convinced of that, and, mark my words, it will turn out so.
And secondly, even if this marriage did take place, which could only happen if that scoundrel has some special, mysterious interests to be served by it – interests which no one knows anything about, and I’m utterly at a loss to understand – tell me, ask your own heart, will she be happy in that marriage?
Taunts, humiliations, with the partner of her life a wretched boy who is weary of her love already, and who will begin to neglect her, insult her, and humiliate her as soon as he is married. At the same time her own passion growing stronger as his grows cooler; jealousy, tortures, hell, divorce, perhaps crime itself. . . . No, Vanya!
If you’re all working for that end, and you have a hand in it, you’ll have to answer to God for it. I warn you, though it will be too late then!
Goodbye.”
I stopped him.
“Listen, Nikolay Sergeyitch. Let us decide to wait a bit.
Let me assure you that more than one pair of eyes is watching over this affair. And perhaps it will be settled of itself in the best possible way without violence and artificial interference, such as a duel, for instance.
Time is the very best arbiter.
And, finally, let me tell you, your whole plan is utterly impossible.
Could you for a moment suppose that Prince Valkovsky would accept your challenge?”
“Not accept it?
What do you mean by that?”
“I swear he wouldn’t; and believe me, he’d find a perfectly satisfactory way out of it; he would do it all with pedantic dignity and meanwhile you would be an object of derision. . .”