Fyodor Dostoyevsky Fullscreen Humiliated and offended (1859)

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“Yes, I remember Alyosha mentioned some letter that his father was very much pleased about, but that was quite lately, not more than two months ago.

Well, go on, go on. What of your dealings with the prince?

“My dealings with the prince?

Understand, I had a complete moral conviction, but not a single positive proof, not a single one, in spite of all my efforts.

A critical position!

I should have had to make inquiries abroad. But where? – I didn’t know.

I realized, of course, that there I should have a hard fight for it, that I could only scare him by hints, pretend I knew more than I really did. . .”

“Well, what then?”

“He wasn’t taken in, though he was scared; so scared that he’s in a funk even now.

We had several meetings. What a leper he made himself out!

Once in a moment of effusion he fell to telling me the whole story.

That was when he thought I knew all about it.

He told it well, frankly, with feeling – of course he was lying shamelessly.

It was then I took the measure of his fear for me.

I played the simpleton one time to him, and let him see I was shamming.

I played the part awkwardly – that is, awkwardly on purpose. I purposely treated him to a little rudeness, began to threaten him, all that he might take me for a simpleton and somehow let things out.

He saw through it, the scoundrel!

Another time I pretended to be drunk. That didn’t answer either – he’s cunning.

You can understand that, Vanya. I had to find out how far he was afraid of me; and at the same time to make him believe I knew more than I did.”

“Well, and what was the end of it?”

“Nothing came of it.

I needed proofs and I hadn’t got them.

He only realized one thing, that I might make a scandal.

And, of course, a scandal was the one thing he was afraid of, and he was the more afraid of it because he had began to form ties here.

You know he’s going to be married, of course?”

“No.”

“Next year.

He looked out for his bride when he was here last year; she was only fourteen then. She’s fifteen by now, still in pinafores, poor thing!

Her parents were delighted.

You can imagine how anxious he must have been for his wife to die.

She’s a general’s daughter, a girl with money – heaps of money!

You and I will never make a marriage like that, friend Vanya ... Only there’s something I shall never forgive myself for as long as I live!” cried Masloboev, bringing his fist down on the table. That he got the better of me a fortnight ago ... the scoundrel!”

“How so?”

“It was like this.

I saw he knew I’d nothing positive to go upon; and I felt at last that the longer the thing dragged on the more he’d realize my helplessness.

Well, so I consented to take two thousand from him.”

“You took two thousand!”

“In silver, Vanya; it was against the grain, but I took it.

As though such a job were worth no more than two thousand!

It was humiliating to take it.

I felt as though he’d spat upon me. He said to me: ‘I haven’t paid you yet, Masloboev, for the work you did before.’ (But he had paid long ago the hundred and fifty roubles we’d agreed upon.) ‘Well, now I’m going away; here’s two thousand, and so I hope everything’s settled between us.’

So I answered,

‘Finally settled, prince,’ and I didn’t dare to look into his ugly face. I thought it was plainly written upon it,

‘Well, he’s got enough.

I’m simply giving it to the fool out of goodnature.’

I don’t remember how I got away from him!”

“But that was disgraceful, Masloboev,” I cried. “What about Nellie! ”

“It wasn’t simply disgraceful ... it was criminal ... it was loathsome. It was ... it was ... there’s no word to describe it!”

“Good heavens!

He ought at least to provide for Nellie!”