Fyodor Dostoyevsky Fullscreen Humiliated and offended (1859)

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“You will have it so, will you?

“Only I can’t understand what you can do in it.”

“Why, you see, when she went back under another name to Madrid after being away for ten years, all this had to be verified, and about Bruderschaft too, and about the old man and about the kid, and whether she was dead, and whether she’d any papers, and so on, to infinity.

And something else besides, too.

He’s a horrid man, be on your guard, Vanya, and remember one thing about Masloboev, don’t let anything make you call him a scoundrel.

Though he’s a scoundrel (to my thinking there’s no man who isn’t) he’s not a scoundrel in his dealings with you.

I’m very drunk, but listen. If ever, sooner or later, now or next year, it seems to you that Masloboev has hoodwinked you (and please don’t forget that word hoodwinked), rest assured that it’s with no evil intent.

Masloboev is watching over you.

And so don’t believe your suspicions, but come to Masloboev and have it out with him like a friend.

Well, now, will you have a drink?”

“No.”

“Something to eat?”

“No, brother, excuse me.”

“Well then, get along with you. It’s a quarter to nine and you’re in a hurry.

It’s time for you to go.”

“Well, what next?

He’s been drinking till he’s drunk and now he sends away a guest.

He’s always like that.

Ach, you shameless fellow!” cried Alexandra Semyonovna, almost in tears.

“A man on foot’s poor company for a man on horseback, Alexandra Semyonovna; we shall be left alone to adore on another.

And this is a general!

No, Vanya, I’m lying, you’re not a general, but I’m a scoundrel!

Only see what I look like now!

What am I beside you?

Forgive me, Vanya, don’t judge me and let me pour out . . .”

He embraced me and burst into tears.

I prepared to go away.

“Good heavens!

And we’ve prepared supper for you!” cried Alexandra Semyonovna in terrible distress.

“And will you come to us on Friday?”

“I will, Alexandra Semyonovna. Honour bright, I will.”

“Perhaps you look down on him because he’s so . . . tipsy.

Don’t look down upon him, Ivan Petrovitch! He’s a goodhearted man, such a goodhearted man, and how he loves you.

He talks to me about you day and night, nothing but you.

He bought your books on purpose for me. I haven’t read the yet. I’m going to begin tomorrow.

And how glad I shall be when you come!

I never see anyone. No one ever comes to sit with us.

We’ve everything we can want, but we’re always alone.

Here I’ve been sitting listening all the while you’ve been talking, and how nice it’s been. . . . So goodby till Friday.”    

Chapter VII

I WENT out and hurried home. Masloboev’s words had made a great impression on me.

All sorts of ideas occurred to me. . . . As luck would have it, at home an incident awaited me which startled me like an electric shock.

Exactly opposite the gate of the house where I lodged stood a streetlamp. just as I was in the gateway a strange figure rushed out from under the streetlamp, so strange that I uttered a cry. It was a living thing, terrorstricken, shaking, halfcrazed, and it caught at my hand with a scream.

I was overwhelmed with horror.

It was Nellie.

“Nellie, what is it?” I cried.

“What’s the matter?”

“There, upstairs . . . he’s in our . . . rooms.”

“Who is it?

Come along, come with me.”