“No, I remember he said he was going to the countess’s.”
“What shall I do, then?” Alyosha asked naively, looking mournfully at Natasha.
“Why, Alyosha, what’s wrong?” she said.
“Do you really mean to give up that acquaintance to set my mind at rest?
Why, that’s childish.
To begin with, it’s impossible, and secondly, it would be ungrateful to Katya.
You are friends – it’s impossible to break off relations so rudely.
You’ll offend me at last if you think I’m so jealous.
Go at once, go, I beg you, and satisfy your father.”
“Natasha, you’re an angel, and I’m not worth your little finger,” cried Alyosha rapturously and remorsefully.
“You are so kind, while I . . . I . . . well, let me tell you, I’ve just been asking Ivan Petrovitch out there in the kitchen to help me to get away.
And this was his plan.
But don’t be hard on me, Natasha, my angel!
I’m not altogether to blame, for I love you a thousand times more than anything on earth, and so I’ve made a new plan – to tell Katya everything and describe to her our present position and all that happened here yesterday.
She’ll think of something to save us; she’s devoted to us, heart and soul...”
“Well, go along,” said Natasha, smiling. “And I tell you what, I am very anxious to make Katya’s acquaintance myself.
How can we arrange it?”
Alyosha’s enthusiasm was beyond all bounds.
He began at once making plans for bringing about a meeting.
To his mind it was very simple; Katya would find a way.
He enlarged on his idea warmly, excitedly.
He promised to bring an answer that day, within a couple of hours, and to spend the evening with Natasha.
“Will you really come?” asked Natasha, as she let him out.
“Can you doubt it?
Goodbye, Natasha, goodbye my darling, my beloved for ever.
Goodbye, Vanya.
Ach, I called you Vanya by mistake. Listen, Ivan Petrovitch, I love you. Let me call you Vanya.
Let’s drop formality.”
“Yes, let us.”
“Thank goodness!
It’s been in my mind a hundred times, but I’ve never somehow dared to speak of it.
Ivan Petrovitch – there I’ve done it again.
You know, it’s so difficult to say Vanya all at once.
I think that’s been described somewhere by Tolstoy: two people promise to call each other by their pet names, but they can’t do it and keep avoiding using any name at all.
Ach, Natasha, do let’s read over
‘Childhood and Boyhood’ together. It is so fine.”
“Come, be off, be off I” Natasha drove him away, laughing. “He’s babbling with delight . . . .”
“Goodbye.
In two hours time I shall be with you.”
He kissed her hand and hastened away.
“You see, you see, Vanya,” said she, and melted into tears.
I stayed with her for about two hours, tried to comfort her and succeeded in reassuring her.
Of course, she was right about everything, in all her apprehensions.
My heart was wrung with anguish when I thought of her present position.
I was afraid but what could I do?
Alyosha seemed strange to me, too. He loved her no less than before; perhaps, indeed, his feeling was stronger, more poignant than ever, from remorse and gratitude.
But at the same time, his new passion was taking a strong hold on his heart.
It was impossible to see how it would end.
I felt very inquisitive to see Katya.
I promised Natasha again that I would make her acquaintance.